While watching the game, I received this text from a friend:
"Desmond is good."
Since this may just be the understatement of the
"THIS IS FACT. BUT HE BETTER THAN GOOD. HE REALLY GOOD. LIKE, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY GOOD. GOODER THAN GOOD. THEY SHOULD MAKE A NEW WORD THAT MEANS GOODER THAN GOOD. DESI CAN DO ALL."
Obnoxious? Yeah, all caps is pretty obnoxious, but he's an O's fan first, so screw him and his feelings. Remember, folks, caps lock can be used. Just make sure it's used for good. Anywhoo, he then writes back:
"You can't make him take a walk, though."
I thought about countering that with something to the effect of, "A walk? You can't get him to take two pitches!" but, I shit you not, as I was about to write it, I'll be damned if Desi didn't work an at-bat to a 3-2 count.
And at that moment, I remembered the "bitter towards Ian" stage I went through a couple years back. It was when he was making error after error, and swinging at every first pitch. I was calling him that name for him that was going around Twitter - Ian dE6mond - quite a bit. (I actually made that my password for my PC at work, too. True Story!) Anyway, that memory prompted me to check my scrapped image files on my computer today. Allow me to present to you, another edition of Rejected T-Shirt Ideas. The Ian Desmond edition.
Holy God. That was... bad. I mean, it was obviously still in progress, but that's like seeing a dog's creation in progress, and it has five eyes and eight legs. And one ear. And a car where its tail should be. Ain't no way either one of those would come out well.
So... sorry, Ian. You're the man. I'm glad the other shirt I came out with turned out better. How better? Well, Gio keeps wearing it, so it's gotta be GOODER THAN BETTER.
(Huge hat tip to Jayson Werth's Beard for the link. That is the hardest working beard in the world. It works harder than [insert joke about some famous guy's wife being a beard because he's gay, but in the closet. Yeah, that joke. It's still relevant, right? No? Crap. Well, I've got a sammich to get to. It ain't gonna eat itself, you know, so I gotta do what I gotta do. Here I come, ham and swiss on rye, with mustard. What were we talking about again?]. )