Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Rob Dibble, the King of weird guttural noises.

This post was supposed to be about Tyler Clippard, and his stellar three innings of work last night, which earned him the win. Instead, I do as I often do... digress towards nothingness. (My mind's got a mind of its own, ya know.) At the end of the game, Bob and Rob were talking about... shit I have no idea what they were talking about, actually. Anyway, Dibble goes on to butcher a Major League quote, and Bob asks him if he's Harry Doyle. Then it comes. The Dibble laugh; Which has me staring at the TV, mouth agape every time I hear him do it. It's impossible to describe, really. If I had to try, though, I'd say it's part mouse, part wheeze, and part throat spasms. I've gone on often about the words sounds Rob Dibble uses produces to describe the plays, but this laugh is always, always good for a laugh of its own. Mostly because you can picture Bob Carpenter up in the booth pouting and muttering nothings to himself as he tries to figure out how he got a monkey for a partner.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not bashing Dibble. In fact, I rather like Dibble's homerism and excitement. And it's certainly a huge improvement upon Don Sutton, who at times last year sounded like he was... dead. Or knitting. But, when Dibbs continues to have the following sounds in his color-man vocabulary, it's hard to take him too seriously:

  • Niiiiice.
  • Smackum Yakum!
  • Niiiiice.
  • We've got a guy there.
  • Niiiiice.

(I will say this, though. He would become my hero if, after a poorly played Nats game in the future, he quotes Harry Doyle correctly and says, "This post-game show is brought to you by... Christ, I can't find it. To hell with it.")

So... props to Goggles for the 1-2-3 DP he induced when he first came in, allowing the Nats to get out of a bases loaded no out jam, and for getting the win. Well deserved, son. Now, with a half season of Major League money* under your belt, maybe you can get some Lasik. The goggles creep me (and the ladies) out.

Shit, almost forgot. I wasted more time with a craptacularly crappy video for you guys, and I posted it below. Enjoy Dibble in all of his cackling goodness.

Oh, and feel free to pretend he's aiming this particular laugh at the Arizona Diamondbacks. (Good luck with a guy who had almost twice as many walks as strikeouts this year. No, no, I'm sure you'll be able to figure out what his problem is, just like the five other Major League pitching coaches he had were able to. Suckers.)

*I have zero understanding about the MLB salary system (along with most other things related to MLB), so I really don't have a clue how much Goggles is making this year. That being said, I'm sure dude can afford it.


Puttzy said...

Can you please add "Ala-bama slamma" to you list. Although it's possible I was getting sick of hearing that as a Pirates fan.

And for the sake of everything holy I hope he doesn't get to go to another stadium where they show horizontal and vertical break again.

Carl the Big Fool said...

"Goggles?" I think you mean "Clippard the Big Red Dog." I will not negotiate on this.

(Although, I have to remind myself that not everyone has little kids and is thus suggested to crappy cartoons.)

Joseph Alexander said...

Whoa - Clifford the Big Red Dog is NOT crappy! At least, I thought the books were pretty bad-ass growing up.