¿Señor Ciento? ¡Mucho Fuego!

With this post title, I'm shooting for the biggest butchering of a language ever. To all Spanish speaking folks out there, I'm deeply sorry. For everyone else, feel free to pretend like the title says, "Mr. 100? On Fire!"
Mr. 100[MPH], of course, is Drew Storen, aka "Señor Ciento." Aka "El Drew K." Aka "The Bearded Assassin."
He threw one inning last night, and was the pitcher of record for the top of the 11th inning, so he got the win. The kid has been an absolute beast as of late, and it just so happens he's had some man fur on his mug as of late, as well. I did some little no research, and guesstimated his beard birth to be around April 15th, or 12 games ago. His stats since then? Peep these, yo:

In this incredible run he hasn't allowed a run. Not an earned run, but a run, period. He's struck out nine, walked only two, and has allowed only seven hits, which gives him a WHIP of 0.675. Drew is just unconscious right now, and has grabbed a hold of that closer role so tight that he had to give it CPR at least four separate times. (See, cause he choked it till it passed out... cause he grabbed the closer role... grabbed... choked. GAH, forget it.)

So, without further ado, allow me to steal the gimmick of one of my favorite Nats tumblrs out there (sweetpearacer's Washington NationLOLs) with this statement that Drew gave me last night.

I, for one, welcome our new bearded overlord.*

*I also just used the most overused meme outside of Chuck Norris Facts. All I'm missing is a reference to the other Matt Groening sho- All glory to the HYPNO-DREW!

(Holy frijole, did I just mail this shit in, or did I just mail this shit in, AMIRITE?)