Collin Balester's name gets demolished and more...

Sorry for taking the past couple days off. Work's been kinda rough during the day, and the new laptop I have at home has a keyboard that drives me up the Goddamn wall. The keyboard has black buttons with the letters being only kinda white, so they're hard to see. Plus, the force you have to use to push the keys is out of control. If I pretended a baby's head was my keyboard, the baby's head would cave in with the force my fingers have to use to try and get the key strokes to register. It really is a debacle of epic proportions.

Speaking of debacles of epic proportions... I was watching SportsCenter this morning before heading off to work when I stumbled upon Neil Everett doing the Nats highlights low lights. Now, I've heard Collin Balester mention how people have messed up the pronunciation of his name, but the only way I know of that they've fucked it up is by saying it in two syllables, like Bale-ster. Now, I get it... it's the Nationals and all, but dude's made 20 Major League starts. Shouldn't a SportsCenter anchor be able to pronounce... I dunno... names of the people they cover? Jesus, Neil. You even write most of your own highlights! You knew you were gonna have to say Collin's name, yet you still fucked it up. Royally.

Neil Everett has problems with names from Section 138 on Vimeo.

So sorry, Collin. Maybe after you win some Cy Youngs and World Series rings, Neil Everett will pronounce your name right. But chances are... he'll still get it wrong.

The official Tyler Clippard nickname poll closed the other day with the final count being:

• Goggles 25 votes (53%)
• Clippard the Big Red Dog 18 votes (41%)

Tyler "Goggles" Clippard it is, folks. Thanks for taking the three seconds to click a little button. To be honest, 43 votes is about 40 more than I expected to get. (Although Carl did do some lobbying on his own behalf. Which is totally cool, btw. There's only rules when you're playing board games with youngsters, I say. Anything outside of that, feel free to cheat your ass off.)

Not sure what the next poll will be, but I'll try and think of something. (Well, I'm lying. I have an idea, but I'm not sure that the topic is something that certain people would want out in public. The thing I'm talking about could cause some serious shit to rain down. I mean, bloodshed in the streets, cars flipped over and burning, windows shattering kinda shit. Here's one hint, however... It concerns a certain relief pitcher who has the baddest ass uniform boogaloo going on this side of... the damn Universe. So, I may bounce that off someones head, but... again... I'm not sure they want rioting and maiming on their conscience.)

And finally, dudes and dudettes, I leave you with Nationals fans pointing their fingers and laughing at Kansas City and Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh may be famous for its Iron City beer, and Kansas City may be famous for its... shit... what the hell is Kansas City famous for*? Anyway, they can now be famous for having Washington Nationals fans laugh their asses off at them.


It took up until 8/14/09, but we can now say that we are better than other teams in the newest SI power poll. Hey, KC and Pittsburgh... might as well burn down your cities and start from scratch. You poor bastards.


*Full disclosure - I spent the greater portion of my childhood growing up in Nebraska, so I love, love, love the Midwest. That said, there ain't shit that the region is famous for. Well, besides tornadoes and wheat. Which ain't no Iron City beer, dammit.