Friday, July 31, 2009

Cue the locust infestation in 3...2....1 (Drew Storen brings about the apocalypse).

I don't remember reading about baseball in the Book of Revelations as a kid, so I'm hazy on the exact details... That being said, I'm pretty sure Drew Storen giving up a walk was in there somewhere.

It finally happened in the eighth inning last night in Potomac's win over the "Dash" of Winston-Salem. (Seriously? The Winston-Salem Dash? Like one of these: "—"? Ooooo-kay then.) Drew was brought in with his team up 2-1. He got two straight ground outs, and then it happened. He walked this dude named C.J. Lang. Now, I didn't see the game, so I can't swear on this... but I'm pretty sure C.J. is 4'2". I mean.. c'mon... how are you supposed to pitch to that? The next batter, a 7'3" 375 lb. beast of a man named Dale Mollensomething, hit a double to drive in a run. Tie ballgame. Drew figured he'd accomplished what he set out to do (more on that in a bit), and got the next guy to fly out.

It was an eerie feeling in the Section 138 household right then. We weren't listening or following the game, but we all felt something. You know how dogs and cats can sense upcoming earthquakes and shit? Well, one of my cats was going nuts. Just bat-shit insane. He was crying and staring at me, very much frightened like. I asked him what was wrong, and he just moaned... "Dreeeeeeew. DREEEEEEEEW." I jumped on the internets and saw the news of the walk. The cat could sense something wasn't right with me, and I was so fearful of breaking the news to the lil' guy. I did, though, and after I was done he sobbed out in his little voice...

So they go to the bottom of the eighth, with Drew as the pitcher of record. The P-Nats don't fuck around, and score the go ahead run. Drew comes back out for the top of the 9th, and knew he had the Winston-Salem — right where he wanted them. He purposely walked that dude to instill false hope in all the — players. That crafty son of a bitch! They sure do make 'em smart out there at Stanford.

Drew does what he does, getting out of the 9th w/out allowing a runner to reach base, while striking one of the — out. Drew ended up with his first Carolina League win, and he and his teammates went on to celebrate like it was 2009. Final score: Potomac Nationals 3, Winston-Salem — 2.

And now, to put this matter to rest (or try to, anyway). I present the official* Drew Storen nickname list. We shall choose from this list the name that Drew will come to be known as. Pick wisely, as this could scar the guy for life.

  • Short panted long socked throwing person
  • Socks
  • Dude with the flat brimmed hat
  • Capris
  • Stockings
  • That reliever guy from Stanford
  • Hose
  • Amazing leg coverings guy
  • Stocks
  • And the incredibly amazing entry of... El Drew K
As always, you guys can offer up more. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to purchase some pitch forks at Home Depot. The storming of Nationals Park will begin at 4PM sharp if Rizzo doesn't make any moves to improve this squad. If I don't see you at the storming, wanna meet up at the burning at the stake after? Just drop me a line.

*This list is as official as Tibet being part of China. Which is to say, it's bullshit.


Joseph Alexander said...

Too bad "The Professor" is already taken.

You know what I really like about that list? Not ONE D-Store, or K-Store, or anyother such spin off of D-Cab, K-Rod, A-Rod, etc...

El Drew K get my vote. Would have been Stockings, or perhaps "Stanford Stockings" otherwise.

Maybe pstoren could tell us a nickname he grew up with?

Section 138 said...

I'm fully in the El Drew K camp, too, but I worry how many folks would pick up on it.

I am interested on what he was called growing up, though. I'm sure he already has a baseball nickname... but I like fan nicknames, dammit!

pstoren said...

We did actually call him el drew k at one point... Very perceptive of the blog readers. He's always been 'Bud' to us..no reason though. And nothing to do with baseball either. Another great column as usual! Guess he got the walk out of the way now. Tell the cat I hope he recovers from the shock...!

Section 138 said...

You guys actually called him El Drew K!!??

Man.. I don't know if that's cool, or disappointing.

Joseph Alexander said...

Definitely cool.