Tony Plush is TEH BOMBZ!!11!!

I gotta say... there are some things you have to see in person to truly comprehend. One of those things? Nyjer Morgan's speed. Sure, he looks fast on TV, but in person? Holy bejezzerz! His closing speed is just incredible. Dude can certainly push the garage door opener button from the inside of the garage to close it, and run out before it closes. (C'mon... you all know you've done it. It used to be kinda easy as a kid, but then they had to throw that stupid "safety" laser thing in, so you have to jump over it, while still ducking the door. I swear to Christ... kids these days get robbed of so much raw fun.) Anyway... here are two (crappy ass) clips I pulled from MLBs Gameday coverage today to showcase Nyjer's awesomely awesome speed. First up is Nyjer robbing "Fake Eyebrows" (David Wright).

I gotta say, most of us at the park thought that ball was out. Tony's closing on that ball was unreal. (Shit... I just realized something. I shared my reason for calling Nyjer "Tony Plush" on my Twitter feed (you can follow me on the right), but never told you guys! My bad, homies! Click here to listen to Nyjer being interviewed by some dude back when he was on the Pirates. Very good stuff, and brief, too.)

The next (really crappy) video I'm sharing is Nyjer running down a hard hit ball in the top of the 9th. This is when I realized his true speed. I mean... dude out ran the fucking ball. I was very, very impressed. (Although it doesn't take much to impress me. I was blown away by the pretzel dog at Noah's Pretzels.)
This is also my gift to those of you lucky enough to be able to enjoy the games without Bob Carpenter and Rob Dibble. We all know how I feel about Bob, but this is my first foray into Rob. I don't have the horrible disdain for him that some do, but I certainly agree with Needham in the fact that some of his commentary is... well... not the most analytical stuff you'll hear from a color commentator. Listen in this clip how he eloquently describes Nyjer's catch...

That's right. His expert analysis of the play was "WHOO-HOO" and "How do you like me know." His most common analysis is "Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice", and I keep meaning to get a clip of that, but I'm probably among the top 10 laziest mother fuckers on the planet. Maybe someday, but don't hold your breath folks.

And finally, I leave you with one last video, and a comment about it.

We got Nyjer for Lastings Milledge.

LOLCOPTERBBQROFL!!!!!11111!!!!!111

Pi-HA-rates!!!

Ah, shit... Forgot one thing. This is for you, Johnny Lannans. First CG shutout in the history of Nationals Park. Good job, eyebrows! I'm sure quite a few ladies would offer to have your offspring after that outing. Pick well, my friend.