Monday, July 13, 2009

Tyler Clippard's IBB balk, and other stuff. (Like... What happened to Manny Acta and true defining moments.)

I present to you... the first of many in what should be MASN's actual ad campaign. Does anyone hear the phrase "Defining Moments" and associate it positively with the Nationals? Fuck and no are the answers. There are hundreds of true Nats defining moments, and this will surely become a regular feature. So, how bout you all throw your MASN Nats defining moments in the comments? In the meantime, I'll give you my defining moment of the Nationals. Tyler Clippard's balk that he committed while trying to intentionally walk someone.

Yeah, you read that right. Allow me to set the scene. In the bottom of the 8th, Tyler Clippard was brought into the ballgame to keep the game... well... sorta-somewhat close. (4-0 Astros at that point). He walked Berkman to lead off the inning in spectacular fashion, then gave up a ground-rule double to Carlos Lee. (That ball may or may not have been catch able. At this point, however, I have stopped thinking like that whenever a ball is hit towards Adam Dunn. Unless it's a fucking line drive right at his face, I'm now assuming it's a double, even if it's hit by a bigger, fatter version of Dmitri Young. Which does not exist.)
Next up was Geoff Blum (whose parent I have issues with, btw. It's Jeff. Not Geoff, god dammit) who hit a shallow pop fly to center that Nyjer Morgan made a nice play on. So, with one out, here is where the drama hilarity comes in. Manny decides to intentionally walk Hunter Pence, to set up the double play. Easy enough, right? Not for our 2009 Washington Nationals it ain't. Enjoy your Yaketty Sax for today.

I'd write more about it, but there really isn't anything else to say. Also, I spent two fucking hours on this video piece of shit above and am extremely displeased with the quality of the ultimate product. Enjoy, peeps, cause it's the last actual video you'll ever get from me again. (Unless someone knows of a decent video capture and edit software. And don't even think of recommending Cam Studio, or I'll punch your mom in the face.) And, yeah, the rule is outdated and probably needs to be re-written... but still, it's an intentional walk. You're purposely throwing balls nowhere near the damn strike zone. Once your spike gets caught, Tyler, just flick the ball in Wil's general direction. I don't give a shit if it's a 15 hopper, just let it go.

In other news, Manny Acta finally got fired. I'm seriously going to leave it at that for right now. I'm not a happy person. I haven't read a single Internet article on it, and haven't even opened my Twitter client today. I'm just shocked that they think handing the reigns over to a lifetime .445 manager is gonna make that much of a difference. I dunno. Maybe I should do some research and see if Riggleman's squads played fundamentally sound baseball. That may be one area he can improve on. What he can't change, however, are the names on the back of the jerseys in the clubhouse. You see... the players on this team need someone continually babysitting them. Continually encouraging them. Continually challenging them. The players need someone to get them to actually practice, play, and act like they give a fuck. Is Jim Riggleman that guy? I don't know, but that sure as shit wasn't Manny Acta. (I guess I did end up writing something on that, eh?)

Farewell to you and your fedora, Manny. I wish you the best of luck.


Puttzy said...

The balk was painful. No doubt. But I'm sorry . . . its more pain to watch your team give up 5 runs in the bottom of the ninth because your manager wont yank your closer.

Once again . . Thanks for breaking Capps last year.

Is it football season yet?

The Doctor said...

MASN Defining Moment! (Here's the script, with me in the commercial)

July 12, 2009, Nationals vs. Astros

(quick cut) "Houston, you have a problem!"

On the mound for the Nationals: Tyler Clippard. You know, he wears the funny glasses, like Rick Vaughn. He's DC's Wild Thing!

(quick cut) [Me doing the Cabbage Patch]

8th inning, down 4-0, time for some strategy to give the bats a chance to win it late!

(quick cut) [Me calling my shot and then doing home run swing with an invisible bat]

Intentional walk to load the bases and maybe get a double play. What happens instead? Wild Thing throws the Balkinator!

(quick cut) [Me doing the Running Man and the Hammer Dance]

Yes, Nats fans, a balk can be as good as sacrifice fly!

Rebecca said...

My defining moment was one game (I don't remember which one, does it really matter? I think it may have been Detwiler's first...) in which Detwiler was pitching. We were winning. It was the eigth inning and Manny pinch hit for Detwiler, even though his pitch count was low and he could've gone another inning or two. I was thinking, "Oh no! That means the bullpen is going to have pitch!" To make a long story short, the bullpen blew up and we lost. Manny was quoted after the game saying something along the lines of, "Do I have to rely on a double-A pitcher when I have these big league pitchers in the bullpen?" But that sums it all up for me.

Rebecca said...

I may have gotten some details wrong in my defining moment. Maybe it was STammen's first start? Maybe it was the 7th inning? I don't know. Which is sad, because it could been any number of games.

Anonymous said...

It was Lannan, and it was the first game I went to this season...I was screaming the same thing at him. Everyone was staring at me.

Five minutes later, I think they understood why.