The UPS guy came today (The Nats don't half ass anything. Ain't no USPS shit here. No sir...first class all the way, baby. First class.) and brought me my two season ticket books. It's always a joyous occasion, as I run around shrieking in my house like Chase Utley after he saw Lastings Milledge. Only my shrieks are shrieks of joy, and his are of terror.
It's the same book as last year, except there are pictures on each ticket, instead of a drawing. Like this ticket here, with Mr. Bally Star fist-bumping some lil dude on the mound at Nationals park. (Breaks out 1932 Kodak pocket camera....)
Or, there's this......thing. I'm actually not sure what the hell it is. (Again, breaks out the trusty old pocket cam that has no focus on it)
But the highlight of the book was the ticket for opening day. You know how when people win the lottery, they get one of them big ass cardboard checks? Well, the Nats like that idea, and decided to do it to a ticket. I'm gonna have trouble getting into the park for opening day, because the ticket is BIGGER THAN DMITRI YOUNG. I ain't even bullshittin ya.
That's right folks...have fun going to opening day with your giant plastic ticket. Thanks, Nats front office, for making it impossible for me to conveniently store my ticket anywhere. Seriously...thanks for the foot long ticket. You're doing a great service to thieves everywhere by making the ticket a humongous giant fucking grabbable card. Kudos.