Tuesday, March 31, 2009

2nd Annual Nationals - Pirates Bet

Yes, it is that time again. That time of year when my old roommate has the gumption to bet on the Pittsburgh Pirates, and I use all my intestinal fortitude to lay my money down on the Nationals.
If you remember last year, I won the bet with Puttzy over the series winners for the year. The Nats beat the Pie-Rats four games to three, and I welcomed Puttzy with an open mouth (for the BEER. THE BEER!) as he presented me with a case of Yuengling. There was also supposed to be a carton of cigarettes in the deal, but I forget why he welched on that. I mean...he lives in North Carolina, dammit. Cigarettes are...like $1.25 a pack. (Note to MD tax maker-uppers: Fuck. You. $6.50 for a pack of cigarettes? "We're just trying to protect your health," they say. My ass. How come Ho-Hos still just cost a buck?)

So, without further ado...I throw down the gauntlet, and slap Puttzy in the face with my dueling glove. I propose the winner of this year's seven games gets...well, whatever the hell they want. (To be totally honest, I haven't discussed this bet with Puttzy yet. What better way for him to HAVE to accept than by calling him out in front of the tens and tens of you who read this, right?)
I do have a proposal, however. If the Pirates win the season long series, I will drive down to Charlotte, and pay for your ticket to the Oktoberfest thing they got down there. If the Nats win, you buy tickets for me and my wife, and welcome us and the pets down for an extended weekend. And pay for all the beer that is consumed the entire time. (You kinda win either way, dude! Time with me? Fucking awesome!)

Now to put you guys at ease. I have three reasons why the Nats will absolutely, positively beat the Pirates this year.

1) The Nationals hyping of their prospects (on their own webpage) would not have this picture being posted:

Did you read the caption (as usual, you may want to click to enlarge)? I hope he has offensive potential, because he apparently can't field for shit. I mean, seriously....that's the best picture you could find of the kid? Yikes. Their Minor League talent must be awesome!

2) Bodog has the World Series odds up for this year, and the Nationals are 125-1. The Pirates? 150-1. Yeahhhhhhhhh! Have a seat, lunch meats.

3) And, finally, the Pirates are 16-12 in Spring Training (as of yesterday). Way to peak early, guys. Yup, use up all your hits while the stats don't count for shit, poopie Pirates. Suckers.

(I snapped this picture of Nate McClouth early last year when I told him he was playing the Nationals, but it bears repeating. The thunders coming, baby.)


Puttzy said...

I accept your bet with the conditions you set forth. I also propose a new bet. A supplemental bet if you will.

Overall record at the end of the season.

Once the season ended last year there was a roar that bellowed up from the South Side, went roaring through the Fort Pitt tunnel, and echoed out the other side . . . "We're not the Nats, we're not in last"

You name the price on that once also.

The Doctor said...

Maybe you shouldn't have quit quitting smoking. Quitter quitter!

Phishisgr8 said...

supplemental bet accepted...but why do I have to think up the loot on this bet as well? I know you central Penisylvanians aren't that bright, but surely you can think of something. Anything.

Doctor- I quit on you. But I might quit that quit as well...

The Doctor said...

I quit the Chico Man, and I'm never going back.

Puttzy said...

Supplemental bet: loser buys food at Oktoberfest. I figure you buyin for me should be almost as much as me buyin for you and RJ. If you cancel on the oktoberfest there are no substitutions and I will be sending a bill for my portion.

Phishisgr8 said...

There's food at Oktoberfest? The fuck? That leaves less room in my stomach for beer.

I accept.

F the Chico Man!

Anonymous said...

I thought I'd be nice and give you some ammunition to use against your buddy Puttzy! You'll LOVE this!


Phishisgr8 said...

I appreciate the tip, anonymous! Puttzy discovered your link here. Bummer. I was trying to save that to kick him when he as down a lil' later on down the road.