Yeeeeeeeee Hawwwwwwww

Opening Day, Bitches!

Eyebrows is on the bumb vs. Tobasco and the Marlins.

Johnny boy's gonna hook the Fish, haul 'em in the boat, and give them to Dmitri Young Ray King Adam Dunn to eat. (It's pretty amazing that he's considered the fat body on the squad, no?)

Anyway, to recycle from last year's Nolasco post (cause I'm TOO GOD DAMN BUSY AT MY SLAVE JOB!):

Lannan for the good guys, against stinky ol' Ricky Tabasco for the Marlins. Ricky is from Corona, CA, and is sporting a wickedly hairy chin, and a nasty snarl.


Ain't he a tough looking one? Cheer up, Ricky. You're from Corona, CA. Home of The Golden Cheese Company of California, one of the largest cheese factories in the world!

(And I'd be remiss if I didn't say this... Really, guys? Kearns in right over DOOKS!? Ya'll are gonna get a text message from a certain guy whose name rhymes with Smoliga Fooks. God. Dammit.)