Section 138 dude not feelings gud. Found him holdin plaztik bag over hiz hed. Den I's found him with drain-0. Told him "Be happiez!" but he no listens. He'z bean loked in hiz room for 2 dayz nao. Hope Natz win soons, or no ones left 2 feeed me. Oh wells. I eat hiz face after he dyes.
Ohs! Dude gave me magic paperz dat haz my picturez on it. Want see?
Datz me! Section 138 guy wuz crying and had sum hurting toyz. I gotz dem back, tho.