Lastings Milledge = a circus.

So, I'm watching last night's game train wreck, and I notice a lot of things. The most glaring, however, was Lastings Milledge's defense. I wrote in a post from last year about the rumors of Dukes going to center field:

Look, I'll admit Milledge didn't play the best CF in the world last year. I do contend, however, that he made tremendous strides out there. His defense at the end of the year was waaaaay better than his defense to start the year. He used to track fly balls by guessing where it might land, and make the biggest circle possible to get to said landing point. At the end? He would guess where it might land and make a neat little... arc. But, hey, it's progress, right?

Honeslty, folks, I am a huge Lastings fan. But I don't know what to do about his defense anymore. I'm watching the last two games, and see Lastings just getting horrible jumps and taking brutal routes. I swear to Flores, every time a fly ball was hit his way last night, I just thought "Someone cue Yakity fucking Sax." Sure enough, he misplayed one.

So. Since I love you guys, I now present to you what I like to call, "What Goes On In My Head Every Time a Fly Ball Gets Hit Lastings' Way."

Now, get some popcorn, your favorite beverage, and prepare to enter my world. Enjoy.