Ryan Zimmerman = Smiley Gonzalez??

My heart sank when I saw this graphic pop up on yesterday's (CRAPPY NON-HD) masn broadcast.




I'm sure we're all still reeling from the Smiley Gonzalez (Did we ever figure out his name? Carlos Alvarez? Daniel Lugo? Carlos Lugo? Alvarez Daniel? Sarunas Jasikevicius?) fiasco, so I know this must be like Ray Lewis' stabbing of that guy who was already beaten up by his posse and couldn't defend himself. A sucker punch. Right to the groin.

But...if there's one thing I've learned, it's that the media is never wrong. Ever. So, I'm sorry to break it to you guys...but Ryan's really 49 years old. (Okay, I may be nit-picking a little. It's only his fourth opening day start, but it is his fifth season. No. Fuck it. I'm not nit-picking. These people get paid to do this shit. Why in Flores' name can't they get things right?)

And to answer your question...No. I will not speak of last night's game debacle. I do not feel the need to regurgitate that stuff like I was the daddy eagle, and you're the babies. You're big folks. So stop crying. Please?