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Friday, May 16, 2008

Battle in Crackmore. Ugh.

Our valiant warriors play their 11th game in a row tonight, when Shawn Hill takes on Gregg Garrett Olson. It's a 3 game set being held in the hell hole that is Baltimore. If you were thinking of going up there for the series, don't. Just watch the sweep on TV, and save yourself from getting:
  1. Mugged while trying to park near Camden Yards
  2. A bad case of H.I.V. from the homeless hooker by the train tracks that will assault you on your way to the field.
  3. Stabbed by Ray Lewis, who sleeps in Ravens Stadium, because he spends all his money on crack, heroin, and energy drinks. (I said RED BULL, PUNK! What is this AMP shit you giving me? Boy, YOU DEAD! YOU DEAD, BOY! YOU DEAD!)
  4. Bitten by a mosquito from the inner harbor, thereby contracting the deadly Baltimore strain of Malaria.
  5. An awful headache from listening to all that Baltimorese that the Baltimorons speak.
Meat is with the team today, and is expected to DH. Shawn Hill needs some offense tonight to get his first decision of the season. He may just throw a no hitter. Maybe. No updates on the catching situation yet. I was kicking that topic around with one of my homeboys yesterday. Peep this: Nats cut Estrada, keep Flores as the starting catcher, and make LoDu the backup. Thoughts? I know, that leaves Wil the Thril in the cold, and $5 million on the bench, but Jesus is the future, maybe even the present.

Alright, rascals. Get outta here, and start drinking already! If you do head up to Baltimore, good luck, and god speed!



3 comments:

Puttzy said...

Entertaining, enlightening, and edutational. Best blog in the world

Rebecca said...

umm...I don't think Screech speaks that way.

Phishisgr8 said...

Rebecca, Screech just changes his speaking performance around his environment. He was actually quite civil for Baltimore.

If I can just teach one person one thing, my life is complete, puttzy.