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Thursday, May 1, 2008

What on tap for tonight? Murder.

The Nationals welcome the Pirates into their humble home tonight. Rental Perez against some 0 and something pitcher..... Zach Duke is his name. I've only known one other Zach in my life. This Zach Duke guy looks like just as big a douche, and is probably a worse pitcher. WHIP? 1.81. Awesome! Let the slaughter begin. True story: I have a bet with a Pirates fan about who's team will have the better head to head record. On the line is a case of beer, and a carton of cigarettes. I'm trying to quit cigarettes, but I'll take his sister instead carton anyway. I im'd him this morning to see if he was prepared for the rampaging rampage about to be laid down.

me: Series starts today, dude. You're facing the hottest team in the universe. Skeeered?
Sent at 11:35 AM on Thursday

him: hahaha um no

me: Then you dumb, holmes.
YOU CAN"T STOP THE NAT ATTACK!
Sent at 11:38 AM on Thursday

him: ummmm I'm pretty sure pirates face many worse things than gnats

me: Whatever your name. You obviously hit the ol' moonshine this morning.
Sent at 11:40 AM on Thursday

The poor dumb fool thinks he stands a chance. I had a picture of the retarded Pirates mascot, Douchey McFuckstick, with a Nationals player sticking his foot up the parrots ass. However, since the formerly mentioned Pirate fan put me in a bad mood with his false bravado, you do not get to witness my MS Paint magic today. Instead, you get to see a picture taken on the Pirates plane today, when they realized they had to play the Nationals today. This is their best player, Nate McLuuuth:


That's right, Nate. The thunder is coming, baby.

8 comments:

Puttzy said...

Wow. Good thing this game gets played on the field and not this blog cause we just got killed. (I guess that is what I'm supposed to say/feel)

Somewhere Nate just shed a tear and he doesn't even know why.

Rebecca said...

that's a cute hamster

Phishisgr8 said...

He plays a cute center field, too! No, Nate, we're not saying "McLoooooooooooouth." We're Booing. Booing you and your little douchey hamster face.
Get a haircut, hippie!

Andrew Fox said...

THUN-DER!

NANANANANANANANANANA

THUN-DER!

Rob said...

I thought that Nate guy was a colored fellow.

Andrew Fox said...

Chico Man hates one less player now!

Andrew Fox said...

LOL at the Pirates vs. Lannan tonight.

Phishisgr8 said...

He is colored. Looks like orange? Maybe tan? With some white markings.