Well, enough of that Milwaukee madness, we're off to sunny San Diego! It'll be a nice 'n easy 3 game sweep. We got Hill (so they say, anyway) going tonight, with Rental Perez, and Johnny! Lannans! finishing out the series. They shouldn't have any issues shutting down them Pads 'cause, well, they suck. How bad is their offense? The Nats have a better team batting average than them. I swear! We may be 14th in the league, but they're 16th. Take that, San Diego!
Randy Wolf is the head enemy tonight. Fun Fact: When Wolf pitched in Philly, his fans were called the "wolf pack." Yes, it is a very ingenious name. Look, Philly ain't known for its intelligence. They put cheez-whiz on their cheese steaks, for Christ's sake. Second BONUS fun fact: Randy Wolf bought his current house from Slash (the guitarist, not the porn star. Although, there may be as much semen in that house regardless which one owned it). Boy, I gotta question the intelligence of someone who buys their freaking house from a rock star. Cocaine's a bitch to get out of the ventilation system. Unless, I dunno, he likes a little blow every now and then. Which works out well, cause he's got a small penis.*
The bad news? The game starts at 10 pm EDT. Zippie chance I make it through 3 innings. Doctor, you're my eyes tonight, sir. Now, let's roll off 3 in a row, my main men!
*may or may not be true.