What on tap for tonight? Murder.

The Nationals welcome the Pirates into their humble home tonight. Rental Perez against some 0 and something pitcher..... Zach Duke is his name. I've only known one other Zach in my life. This Zach Duke guy looks like just as big a douche, and is probably a worse pitcher. WHIP? 1.81. Awesome! Let the slaughter begin. True story: I have a bet with a Pirates fan about who's team will have the better head to head record. On the line is a case of beer, and a carton of cigarettes. I'm trying to quit cigarettes, but I'll take his sister instead carton anyway. I im'd him this morning to see if he was prepared for the rampaging rampage about to be laid down.

me: Series starts today, dude. You're facing the hottest team in the universe. Skeeered?
Sent at 11:35 AM on Thursday

him: hahaha um no

me: Then you dumb, holmes.

YOU CAN"T STOP THE NAT ATTACK!

Sent at 11:38 AM on Thursday

him: ummmm I'm pretty sure pirates face many worse things than gnats

me: Whatever your name. You obviously hit the ol' moonshine this morning.

Sent at 11:40 AM on Thursday

The poor dumb fool thinks he stands a chance. I had a picture of the retarded Pirates mascot, Douchey McFuckstick, with a Nationals player sticking his foot up the parrots ass. However, since the formerly mentioned Pirate fan put me in a bad mood with his false bravado, you do not get to witness my MS Paint magic today. Instead, you get to see a picture taken on the Pirates plane today, when they realized they had to play the Nationals today. This is their best player, Nate McLuuuth:


That's right, Nate. The thunder is coming, baby.