Thursday, June 18, 2009

John Lannan silences loud ass New Yorkers.

Eyebrows threw one hell of a game last night. If I wrote for the New York Post, my headline wouldn't read, "Bit By Nats", as it did this morning. (How fucking original, btw.)

Nay... mine would read as big as possible for all the world to see....


And that's why I'm not a sports editor.

Anywhoo... last night was nothing short of super fucking fragalistic by Johnny Lannans. 8 1/3 IP, 4 Hits, 4 K, 1 BB, 2 ER. (Which were cheap ass wind tunnel aided right field HR.) He only faced 5 batters over the minimum, and had the Yankees fans quiet as a pedophile in prison.

The Big Donkey crushed a homerun to right that didn't need any help from that that dirty New York air to get out, (Two notes on the highlight... 1) don't ever throw something soft, down, and in to Dunn on a 3-0 count and 2) too bad it wasn't the MASN feed, cause that feed showed his wife and kid right after the HR. I'm pretty sure they both starred in one of the Children of the Corn movies.) and Nick the Stick tripled in the fifth to drive in two more runs. Those three runs were all Eyebrows needed.

Until the 9th, that is. Johnny gave up a leadoff cheapie shot to Damon, got a pop out, then gave up a single to Teixeira. Manny (Is he still the manager? I'm pretty sure FOX Sports said he got fired last weekend?) pulled Johnny at that point and brought in Mike "damn you in the face" MacDougal. Mac promptly allowed a pinch runner to advance all the way to third on stolen bases, and walked A-Rod.

(I twittered this the other night, but I'm repeating it anyway. After MacDougal came on to start the 8th inning against the Yankees on Tuesday, he only managed to record one out while walking two, striking out none, and giving up a hit and a run to four batters. As he walked off the mound, my tweet was, "Another reliever shoves Manny further out the door. I wonder if MacDougal will have the common courtesy to at least give him a reach-around. Gah!" That's PURE GOLD, Jerry, so be sure you follow me @section138.)

Again with the ranting... my bad. Anyway, the situation was electric in Yankee Stadium. I was having a fucking heart attack. I couldn't sit down, and wore a path in the carpet from my pacing. I felt like I wanted to die, because deep down, I think I knew what was going to happen (Bullpen. Assplode). I'll let the great Chico Harlan finish it up with a quote from his gamer:
Runners were on first and third, one out, in a one-run game. The place was bonkers. Those in the Nationals dugout had experienced four consecutive games with late blown leads, and here was MacDougal, pitching to Canó, with hits in seven of his last nine at-bats. Canó fouled off two, then looked at two balls. MacDougal was throwing high-90s fastballs, no exceptions.

"Should I maybe mix in a slider?" he thought.

No -- catcher Josh Bard kept asking for the heat.

Four more fastballs, and Canó fouled off all of them.

Then, one more pitch, and it was over. The place went quiet. Canó bounced a grounder to short. Cristian Guzmán flipped to second, starting a double play. The Nationals snapped a four-game losing streak. Lannan burst from the dugout and high-fived MacDougal on the mound.

FUCK! and YES! I lost it, and started fist pumping and yelling. My dog had no clue what was happening, so he tried to bite my face. I actually felt something in my arm pop, but I didn't care. It actually hurt for an hour or so afterwards and I was afraid it would fall off like Flores' did.

I guess my point is this... I haven't felt that excited with a win since opening day 2008, when Zim hit the walk-off HR to win the game. This game had drama. This game had a great storyline. And most of all, this game had all my hopes laying on a shitty ass bullpen.

I love you, Mikey Mac. It might only last one appearance, but for now... you're my boy.


The Doctor said...

You sure do get excited.

That's Nats!

Rob Birch said...

When you only have 18 of them, I guess you are allowed get excited.

Puttzy said...

It's not often I'll sit and an MLB.com game cast but I had to see the yanks fall. There are few things better than that. (Superbowl victory, Stanley cup victory, and a BJ may be the only things I get happier about. They all happen with about the same frequency too, which make them all the more special)