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Thursday, June 25, 2009

Tyler Clippard - Free At Last

So... I waited until it was triple confirmed to post it this time. Yes, my friends, our favorite movie is just about done.


With the Nationals recalling Tyler Clippard from Syracuse, and Kipper Wells being DFA, my mission is almost complete. All that's left is for some bad ass Morgan Freeman voice over, and a reunion on the beach between Tyler and... well... who ever he bonded with in jail Syracuse. So, if you will, read this in your best Red voice...
In 2009, Tyler Clippard escaped from Syracuse prison. All they found of him was a muddy set of Chiefs clothes, a bar of soap, and an old baseball glove, damn near worn down to the nubs. .... That's all it takes really, pressure, and time. That, and a low god-damned ERA. Like I said, in AAA a man will do anything to keep his mind occupied. It turns out Tyler's favorite hobby was striking fools out, and making opposing batters look bad. ..... Tyler crawled to freedom through five hundred yards of shit smelling foulness I can't even imagine, or maybe I just don't want too. Five hundred yards... that's the length of five football fields, just shy of half a mile.
Excuse me while I grab some tissues...

The ticker-tape parade is on God Dammit! No matter what Needham says!

2 comments:

Rob Birch said...

Why Tyler waited until enchilada night to escape, I'll never know...

Sec314 said...

OK, how do we get rid of Belliard and Kearns? Can you work your magic there?