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Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Where is the bullpen help? FREE THE BERGMANN!

Dear Manny, Rizzo, and Stan,

Hi, guys! How are things going? Glad to hear it. Oh, how are things with me? Well... thanks for asking. Now that you mention it, THINGS ARE SHITTINGLY SHITTY! How in the fuck are you standing pat with the guys you have in the pen? Why haven't heads rolled? When will we see the new faces, for Christ's sake?

Exasperated,

Me and the other 73 Nats fans left.

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So, as you can see, things are the same right now as they were last night. We did get this quote from Manny, though.
When you talk about changing the mindset in the bullpen, are you talking about changing the people?

"Exactly," Acta said. "Yes."

Maybe things will happen before tonight's game. I know Syracuse was playing at 11 AM today. Maybe Brian over at NFA will have something posted?

In the mean time, I am printing out this sign I made, copying it 200 times, and bringing it to the game tonight. I encourage you all to print them out, and paste them all over town. The bigger the better.



Maybe someone can even make a few bucks on t shirts? The possibilities are endless, folks. Just don't let me down.

And finally, I bring to you my first ever hate comment. I'm so excited! It comes from some dude named "Ben", but I can't confirm that because he wasn't man enough to make his profile public. Anyway, without further ado, the incredibly impassioned words of Ben. Exactly as he wrote them.
Ben said...

Fuck you loser. The Nats suck and so do you. Shitwipe. Go jump up Rob Dibbles butt. Carpenters not that bad. You gotta be a homer when the team sucks so bad. Fuck you Debbie Taylor should kick u in the nuts.

May 18, 2009 10:55 PM


I offered him an autograph in a follow up comment, but I haven't heard back from him yet. Once I do, I'll be sure to see if he wants to have a little pow wow on grammar and punctuation. It seems we both could use some help, and two heads are much better than one.

Oh, Ben, be sure to check out my first griping about Bob Carpenter! If you liked the last one, you should love the first.

Okay gang. Back to work, then to the ballpark. My first live look at Martis, and I'm pretty excited. I'll probably be Tweeting at the park, if anyone's interested. Which you're not. Which is all good. No, seriously. I'll be okay.

/sob

9 comments:

The Doctor said...

That is sweet. Hate comments are awesome because it means you're blowing up!

Although, by that measure, Chico Man's blog will be the most popular on the net after a week's worth of my comments.

Anonymous said...

I just hope you're serious about bringing the Free Bergmann posters to the game.

Can we get a petition going or something? He's a better pitcher than ANYONE in the bullpen right now. And he has the stats to prove it...(possible exception with Biemel, but he's gone and gotten knocked up...er...I mean, around...)

Anonymous said...

PS. Classy response to "Ben", who is ironically more anonymous than I am as "Anonymous"...

Carl the Big Fool said...

It's the Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory in action yet again.

Phishisgr8 said...

Doctor - Chico Man won't be getting a lot of hate comments unless he, I dunno, writes another post.

Anon - I'm actually trying to re-size this image. It's a pain in the ass, though. Plus, when Joel asks me what I'm holding as I'm in my seat with 200 Free Bergmann posters, it might hurt his feelings.

Anonymous said...

You know, you should just drop a stack of them into the bullpen from the walkway above...like propaganda leaflets in World War Two...and then run.

The Doctor said...

Joel's feelings are probably the feelings I would care least about hurting right now.

Phishisgr8 said...

It ain't the prettiest, but you think it will do? (I really wish I had access to a color copier.)
http://tinypic.com/r/25k22og/5

Anonymous said...

That's awesome. I kinda like the B&W...gives it a kind of Wild West Most Wanted quality...