Jim Bowden's Twitter feed is funny.

The only question is, does he mean it to be funny? I have two theories here. The first one is that no, he doesn't intend his Twitter feed to be funny. The second theory is that no, he doesn't intend his Twitter feed to be funny.

Where to start? Oh, how about his very last tweet:

Peavy for Poreda and Richard? The other 2 prospects better be top prospects or the Padres pre-ejaculated in this deal......20 minutes ago from web

Now, are we really, really supposed to take trade advice from Jim Bowden? Also, how high up prospect wise can they possibly be if Poreda and Richard are the Sox #2 and #3 prospects in their entire fucking system? JimBo wants their #1 through 4? Dude... news flash... Peavy ain't that awesome away from spacious Petco. All right, I take that back. He's still good, but he ain't exactly Moses on the road. He has a 2.81 home ERA compared to 3.82 road one. His opponents slugging percentage is .334 at home, but .419 on the road. But the most telling statistic (in my eyes, anyway) is that he has only given up 51 HR in the fucking HUGE Petco compared to 84 on the road. Which means (if my ape math is good) he gives up a HR every 51.2 at bats at home, and one every 27.5 at bats on the road. Good still? Yeah. Worth the top 4 prospects of anyone's organization? Hell. No.

What else can we find here. Oh...this from last night:

Congrats to Kris Allen and America for over 1 million votes! Congrats to American Idol for the best show in Prime Time and in my Life Time!about 13 hours ago from web

Well now. Good to see Mr. Bowden likes to challenge himself with his nightly TV viewing. Yup... when I think best prime time show in the last 47 years (his age), American Idol is right on the verge of being mentioned. No. No. It actually isn't. Sorry about that, Jim. Doesn't even break the top fucking 25*. Seriously, Jim? The greatest show in 47 years? Not M*A*S*H, The Wire, Seinfeld? Maybe Bob Newhart or I Love Lucy? I mean... shit... I'll take 30 Rock over American Idol for best show on this year.

(*Full disclosure - I did watch most episodes of American Idol this year, and I like the show. It just sure as hell ain't the best show on TV the past 47 years.)

And here's another gem:

Jenny McCarthy and Jim Carrey's fight against vaccines with the possibility of their correlation with the increase in autism should be heard8:59 PM May 16th from web

Well, I'll leave that to my epidemiologist wife to tackle. (And she did in the comments. But you can clickie here in case you don't read the comments. Warning - geeky link with lots of science talk.)


This tweet really got me chuckling at JimBo:

Obama after receiving a team jersey from Phillies SS Jimmy Rollins, asks, "can I have the WS ring too?"...u gotta love Rock Obama!4:18 PM May 15th from web

Really, Jim? You and the President are so tight you can call him "Rock"? Wow, I had no idea. I mean... Jesus, you're a fucking player!

And lastly, as to end it on a Nats note:

I need a helicopter on tuesday....Ducks and Lakers playing same time in Southern Cal.....anyone have one I can borrow for a few hours?3:17 PM May 11th from web

Hey... Jim. You can't afford a 'copter after all the money you skimmed from all those poor Latin kids? What, did you blow it all on Sunglasses, Segways, and highlights in your hair? For shame, sir. For shame. I hope you lose it all in some Ponzi scheme, Jimmy.