Friday, October 30, 2009

Could this World Series get any worse?

You know what? It could. A-Rod could not be 0-8 with 6 Ks, so I shouldn't complain too much.

Fuck it, that's the only redeeming thing in this battle of suck.

On one side you got the Phillies. Ugh. Chase Fucking Utley with his greasy ass head. That Danny Zuko looking mother fucker... leave some oil for the rest of us, Chase. Our cars need gas to run.

Then you got Jayson Werth. Way to go, Jason. It only takes you ten years to develop. You were taken in the first round of the 97 draft, dude. It take you ten years to deliver on your potential? Way to go, you Edge looking idiot.

And no knock really on Matt Stairs... except to say that he looks frighteningly like David Crosby to me at this point in his life. Seriously...

Someone else suggested that he looks like a young Wilford Brimley. Too bad you can't find a single goddamn picture of a young Wilford on the entire internets. So, David Crosby it is. Enjoy the 45 second Photoshop below, folks.

Speaking of look-a-likes, Howie Mandel is playing a mean left field for the Phillies this year.

I could go on, but I won't. This is already twenty minutes of my life talking about the Phillies that I'll never get back. The shame...

And on the other side... The Yankees. Everyone knows the number one hater of the Yankees...

But there's a shit ton of other reasons to hate them. I, however, don't want to give them the stage any longer than I absolutely must. So, with that... the last reason to hate the Yankees...

A-Rod like to punch dudes in the junk. Not cool, Alex. Not. Cool.

So, best case scenario? Massive H1N1 breakout in both clubhouses cancels the 09 Series. Or maybe Malaria? Tuberculosis? Cholera? Now that's some selective culling of the herd I could get behind.

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