Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Nationals sign the "wonder kid," Stephen Strasburg

...And now we begin to wonder.

After a tense night that was spent harking back to last year, I'm happy to say that the Nats have signed that pitching guy who's better at hurling baseballs than Moses. At least that's what Scott Boras was telling us. After early talk of $50 Million fucking dollars, the kid was signed for $15 Million, and some change. Brian Oliver over at the always wonderfully wonderful Nats Farm broke it down for those of you like me who cannot perform math without their fingers.
It looks like this.
  • 2009: $2.6 million total ($2.5 million in bonus & $100K in pro-rated salary)
  • 2010: $4.5 million total ($2.5 million in bonus & $2 million in salary)
  • 2011: $5.0 million total ($2.5 million in bonus & $2.5 million in salary)
  • 2012: $3.0 million total (all salary)
So, after the Nats shelled out the largest contract in the history of the draft, I figured I should get to know this kid. I searched the intertubes, and found a picture.

What? That's NOT Stephen Strasburg? Shit... Lemme look again. Ahhh, here we are.

Oh, I see the difference now. This Strasburg fellow has a little bit of hair on his chiny chin chin. My mistake, sir. That gentleman in the first picture is apparently a pugilist of some sort named Joe Lauzon.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm tired from staying up until 1 AM last night to see if the dude signed. Allow me to re-use a picture I took of my cat on draft day.

That's right, lil' man! It's Strasmas! Which is just like Christmas, only Uncle Joe doesn't get obliterated and start hitting on his Niece, while ignoring Aunt Peggy. Good times.

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