Nope. It's time for that good old fallback, Mr. Drew Storen.
(Drew... at this point, if I were you, I'd be looking at this page for advice on filing a restraining order. I'd suggest keeping me 25 yards away at all times.)
Drew posted this on his Twitter feed the other day, and I'd forgotten all about it.
I wish I could pitch with maximus's helmet (were watching gladiator on the bus). I feel like it would add at least 4 mph.
And, since it's a three day weekend, work is beyond dead today. The parking lot is 1/2 full, and there ain't shit to do, as I've gotten all of seven emails today (five of those from our server monitoring bot). So, I decided to screw around (badly) and make more Drew Storen Paint pictures. Lucky you! Weeeee!
I now present to you, Drew Maximus Decimus Meridius Storen. (I had to look that up, by the way. Not that there's anything wrong with knowing the dude from Gladiator's full name. Okay, that might be a little creepy. Like that friend of mine that got all pissed at me for saying the Ewoks lived on Endor. He got all freaked out and started screaming.
Him: "They lived on Endor's MOON, not Endor itself!"
Me: "Jesus, it's not like I just stabbed your baby with pencils and shit, it's just Star Wars."
Him: "It was Return of the Jedi, and don't you belittle my people!")
Here's Hagerstown Drew Maximus (Which, I admit, looks a little shitty. Click it for a bigger pic, though, and it
Here's what the batter would see, with his knees all shaking, and pee dribbling down his leg. (I'm talking about you, Chase Utley!)
And finally, once the Nats see just how kick ass awesome this shit is, they get one custom made for Drew. It comes complete with a curly W and a voice changing device that makes him talk like Russell Crowe's character from Gladiator crossed with that dude from 300. "This... Is... Nats Town!"