Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Forgive me, Jordan, for I am late with this.

Happy (belated) birthday, Jordan Zimmermann! While I may be late in wishing him good cheer, I saw John McLaren celebrating with him on Monday, his actual birthday.

My, my. That is one generously sized ice cream cone, Johnnie. Good thing ZNN is 6' 2" and 220 lbs, or else that might be too much strawberry goodness for him to handle. Can you imagine Kansas City Royals pitcher Tim Collins (listed as a generous 5' 7") trying to tackle that cone?

That poor kid is gonna be eating that cone for days. I sure do hope he isn't lactose intolerant.

So, happy 25th, Jordan. My present will be in the mail soon. Be neither alarmed at the abundance of holes punched in the outside of the box, nor the muffled cries coming from inside it. You see, my body requires air to breathe, and I'm claustrophobic.


sweetpearacer said...

Shit, no wonder the team's been doing so shitty the past few days. I forgot to eat a birthday cupcake for Baby Zim. Think it'll work retroactively?

Section 138 said...

Yes, I think it will. However, there are 6 million frothing-at-the-mouth nats fans out there that will let you know if it doesn't. (I've never seen so much anger over a team on pace to win 69 games (without Zim) that was projected to win only 6 fucking 9 in the first place according to Pecota)

Section 138 said...

That should have read sixty fucking nine, but whatever. Psssshhhh.