The first cut is the deepest...

That's what Cat Stevens says, anyway, right?

[Insert musings about the first spring training cuts here (RIP, Rendon), as I was way too busy lazy to write about them.]

Now, since no one has actually listened to that song all the way through, did you know the sixth verse starts with, "The second cut? It don't hurt so much."? Well it does!

Gone to AAA Syracuse in the second spring training cuts are Starters Ryan Perry and Yunesky Maya, reliever Erik Davis, first baseman Chris Marrero, catcher Jhonatan Solano and outfielder Corey Brown. Have fun boys! Chris and Corey have already been there, but in case the others need advice on how Syracuse is, here's a picture of Corey on the actual field last year* 

(*This is not the actual field. This is actually the planet Hoth from The Empire Strikes Back. The boys in Syracuse can only wish Syracuse was as warm as the planet Hoth from the Empire Strikes Back.)

No one got sent to AA Harrisburg with this round of cuts, but My Main Main TONE DŌN

got sent there in the previous round of cuts, and it's rumored that Matt Skole could be assigned there, too. Purchase some good quality lead clothing, Matt, as this picture of Rendon batting at home shows the exact location of home plate in Harrisburg.*

(*This is not the exact location of home plate in Harrisburg. The Three-Mile-Island reactor is actually directly behind the visitor bullpen 13 miles away.)

And, finally, catcher Chris Snyder was cut by the Nats so he could immediately sign with The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, or LAAAAAAAAAA.

In other news around the league, Ramon Castro was cut by the Dodgers so he could immediately sign with...

...The Beagle Boys Gang.

That's right, folks. This entire post led up to a "Ramon Castro Is Fat" joke. One I used before, too. (Sorry, gang, but 5 years is an acceptable time frame between jokes. It's in the Official Section138 Blogger Handbook. /Hastily starts writing the Official Section138 Blogger Handbook)

Well, these are just some fantastic specimens.

Great googly moogly! Get a load of these stunning calves, everyone!

Well, that's embarrassing. Not only is that not the picture I wanted, I'm not even sure why that picture is on my hard drive.

Great googly moogly! Get a load of these stunning calves, everyone!

"Meeeeee-oww!" (That's what Steve McCatty said when he say Strassy's calves. Cause, you know... McCatty... Catty... Cat... Cat Call... Meow! Oh, forget it. Sometimes I wonder why I even try.)

Anywho, just thought I'd drop a post every year or so to keep you guys on your toes. Now, where were we?

Nats! Spring Training! Greatest season in the history of seasons last year! Playoffs! Playoffs :( 

By the way, you all stepped up LARGE at Natsfest giving Drew a standing O like you did. You're some classy fuckers, you know that? You know what? This seems like a good spot to end this post. I want to echo every one you by saying: (5 minute Photoshop? Ain't nobody got time for that! Today, I'm debuting the 2 minute Photoshop! And I apologize.) 

Now, go out there in 2013, kick some ass, and chew some bubblegum, guys. That's goes to all of you, fans and players, not just Drew.

Zim be broken. Again.

Welp, like I thought... Zim was officially placed on the 15 day DL. Le sigh... They list his injury as a strained abdominal muscle, and said he strained it sliding into second base head first. (Side note: A lot of emphasis has been placed on trying to get guys to go into the bases feet first over head first. All I know is... If I went feet first into second base that time with Katie McDermitt, she'd be pretty pissed.) Now, I don't remember the game all that well, so I'm cuing it up right now. I'm just gonna fast forward to all of his plays... Okay, here comes an at bat. I see him setting up to swing, and .... HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!!!

Yup, looks to me like he just SPLIT THE FUCK IN HALF at the plate. Looks like Zimmy's gonna miss more than just 3-4 weeks.

Someone get Dr. Leo Spaceman on the phone STAT. This seems to be something right up his alley.