The Washington Nationals failed against the guy least likely to cause failure.

Hey, yippee, woo-hoo. The Nats were shut out (and limited to 3 hits) by Ryan Voglensnog Vogelsnogog Vogelsong. RYAN VOGELSONG. Vogelsong was the baseball pitcher guy that threw spheres from that raised mound of dirt 60 feet 6 inches away from that home plate thingie worse than any other baseball pitcher guy in all of Major League baseball up until last night. He had an 8.06 ERA, and had yet to give up less than three runs in any of his starts this year and sported a whopping 1.853 WHIP. Last night's line against the Nationals? 5 IP, 3 H, 1 BB, 0 R. That's a line that equals a 0.00 ERA with a 0.800 WHIP. Anyone have an authentic Ray King game used belt? That should easily be long enough to throw over the rafters and hang me with.

 Now, please allow me to summarize your performance as if it were, say, and entry into a baseball exam.

 Mr. Washington Nationals Baseball Guys, what you've just played in is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever seen. At no point in your rambling, incoherent game were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational contest. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having watched it. I award you no baseball points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

 I seriously can't write any more on this subject.

On the bright side of things, this has brought back my drinking habit from 08/09/10. Oh, sweet, sweet liver failure. How I've missed wooing you so. I just need the Nats to play about 5 more of these kinds of games, and we'll be BFFs.

Phair Weather Phillie Phans

Look... a lot has been written about last night's debacle of an attendance situation (here, here, here, here), but there's one thing in particular that pisses me off. What is it? Shocker, it's the Phillies fans themselves. And I'm not talking about how bad they smell, how bad the behave, how poorly they treat others, or how little respect they display. Nope, I'm talking about how GOD DAMN FAIR WEATHERED those bastards are. It's real funny... you chant "this is our house" last night at Nats Park, when you couldn't have been bothered to support your team just a few years ago. A quick breakdown of the Phillies home and away attendance.

2010 Home - 45,027 (2nd in MLB). Road - 32,422 (4th in MLB)
2009 Home - 44,453 (3rd) Road - 30,760 (13th)
2008 Home - 42,254 (5th) Road - 33,214 (13th)
2007 Home - 38,374 (8th) Road - 32,836 (15th)
2006 Home - 34,200 (11th) Road - 30,596 (18th)
2005 Home - 33,316 (13th) Road - 29,284 (22nd)

Now, what you see is a worse home and away average the farther we go back. Did I mention that the Phillies made the playoffs in from 2007 - 2010? What else happened in 07-10? Their wining percentage went up each year. Hmm.. interesting... more folks attend Phillies game both away, and in Philly, as their record got better. Just for the heck of it, let's check out the Phillies attendance for their last losing record season. They ended the 2002 season at 80-81 (which ain't exactly stinking up the joint). Attendance?

2002 Home - 20,208 (24th in MLB).

Really, Philly fans? Really? Your city can't average more than 20,208 folks a game when you finish 80-81?

So, I wondered how that does in relation to the Nats, with their record being quite a bit worse. Well, so far for 2010, with their record at 67-90, the Nats are still averaging 22,645 folks. Yup, that's more than your city did in 2002 when you finished with 13 more wins. What's that, Philly fans? "But you guys have that new stadium"? Okay, let's go back to the last year in RFK (not the greatest stadium in the world to see a baseball game): 2007. When the Nats finished at 73-89. Still 7 games worse than your Phillies finished in 2002 when you managed to average 20,208 folks, good enough for 24th in MLB. How did the Nats fans measure up?

2007 Nats Home - 22,715 (24th)

Correct. In a shitty ass stadium, while watching some shitty ass baseball, DC still managed to clear more fans than you did even with your better winning percentage. So chant "this is our house" all you want. At least we know that a lot of you were nowhere to be seen when your team was playing break even baseball. Mental note made... When the Phillies are playing .600 ball, though, those fans sure do make it out to the park in droves. Good to know your priorities are where they are - with winning teams only. You're doing a bang up job of defining "front runners" fellas!