Boswell watches another game called baseball than I do.

That sport with 9 people per side, 9 fielding at one time versus one batter at a time.... baseball, right? The guy who stands on the pile of dirt throwing to the batter...that's a pitcher, right?

I haven't spoken out against Thomas Boswell before, mostly cause I like the dude, he writes well, and is knowledgeable. Except, that ends now. He has said over and over that drafting a pitcher with the #1 overall pick is a horrible thing to do. He also let out this beauty in today's Washington Post chat.

Tom Boswell: Anybody who drafts a pitcher with an overall pick between 5 and 15 is out of their mind. Just my opinion.......
......Most of the pitchers who have been taken in the first 18 picks that you'd be glad you picked __maybe not Griffey Jr ecstatic, but happy__ came in the first five overall. In other words, they REALLY jumped out. But between 6-and-15, it's a nightmare. For example, 6 and 7 overalls have produced Bonds, Jeter, Sheffield, van Slyke, Thomas, Prince Fielder, Nick Markakis, etc. The 44 No. 6 overalls and the 44 No. 7 overalls __88 picks since '65__ have produced....Rich Dotson. And nobody else I even bothered to write down.

Well, God damn, Boz. I wrote down four names just looking at one fucking draft. The 2002 MLB draft produced:

• Zack Greinke at number 6
• Joe Saunders at 12
• Scott Kazmir at 15
• Cole Hamels at 17
• Jeremy Guthrie at 22
• Matt Cain at 25

...Hmm. He'll take... hang on a second, I have to scroll up to get his name... Rich Dotson. He'll take Rich Doston over the names above? How about a couple more, cause I don't really want to hunt through all the drafts. But then again, maybe I'm using a different definition of "pitcher" than he.

The next few drafts came up with Clayton Kershaw at number 7 in 06, followed by Tim Lincecum at 10 in the same draft, and Max Scherzer next at 11. Yeah, bunch of useless arms these folks are, right Tom? Bunch of fucking chopped liver.

Now, imagine my surprise when I'm catching up on my Twitter feed, when a couple folks pointed out this article with very sage advice.

Next, the Nats need to admit to themselves that looking out over the next several years, they don't have a top-flight closer, or perhaps even setup man, in their entire organization. Yesterday's blown leads of 8-4 after six innings and 10-9 in the ninth are the latest evidence. Facing a problem doesn't solve it, but it opens the way. Making a trade, signing a free agent or using their No. 10 overall draft pick in June for a young closer is needed.

Are you fucking serious, dude? Do you have any idea how closers actually...become closers? It ain't through the draft, but don't let that bother you, Boz.

You know what? I don't want to write about Boswell and the Nats anymore. This here column's baseball related talk is over.

I leave you with a great problem solver for your abode and worms. We have a problem with worms at our place. They find a way to get in/around/under the door, so they're always getting dragged in the house by the dogs, or when the door opens. I was gonna spend some money on some product to alleviate the problem. Well...thank Flores I didn't, cause my wife solved the problem for $0.00. Seriously. All you have to do is place one of these at whatever point of infiltration the worms are using.


This stopped them from coming in. Seriously. Did you know those fuckers could read? I didn't even know they had eyeballs.

MLB's merchandise shop shuns the Nationals.

So, I'm kinda bummed out over the whole "Smiley" debacle (It turns out Smiley isn't his real name. It's actually Julio Franco.), when I come across an email from MLB.com.

St. Patrick's Day gear & Free Domestic Ground Shipping!

"Shit damn", I says, "Different, new Nats gear. And it'll be green." My mom was born in Dublin*, so I was also gonna look into buying her a Christmas present in February. (Who am I kidding...not "a" present. Her only present. I love you, Ma!) Plus, free domestic ground shipping!

So, I click the link, and all I see is Red Sox, Yankees, Cubs and Mets stuff...the fucks the Nats stuff? Then..I look harder at the page. (Might need to click to enlarge.)


I hate you, Bud Selig. You go to hell. You go to hell and you die!

*One Christmas I went home and the place was all decorated with "Irish Christmas" thingies, like...green snowflakes, and snow covered shamrocks. The pride and joy to my mom, however, was the two foot tall "Santa Claus" statue. Only it didn't look like Santa. He was dressed in mostly white and green, and had shamrocks all over him. I asked my mom what the thing was, and my mom said, "Oh, that's an Irish Santa."My brother peeps up with, "So, what's that mean? Irish Santa? What...he's drunk?"

Zimmerman recruiting a big bat?

Well, according to Chico Harlan, he is.

Zim: I'm trying to convince everyone to come. I mean, he likes this place. He [Adam Dunn] likes everything about it, and obviously he knows Jim [Bowden], he knows what he's about. There are a lot of ties that are kind of in there. But it kind of goes back to what we were talking about before about the business side. He's kind of got to wait and see what happens. There's still some time. There are a lot of good players still out there, and we'll kind of see what happens when those other guys start to sign.

That's what the hell I'm talking 'bout, Zim! I like him taking an active role in the building of this organization. I'm also glad he's reaching out, and not just relying on Austin Kearns. My love for Kearnsy is well known...but if we have to rely on a guy who hit .217/.311/.316 for a 102 loss team and JimBo to get Adam...we're fucked. Austin can recruit Dunn till he's blue in the face, but he's not even guaranteed a starting spot this year. Zim's weight carries a 'lil more weight right now, I think.

On a similar note, if they can't get Dunn, the guy in this video comes highly recommended Who is that guy? I know he's a righty, but that's one sweet stroke.

Also, since he connected on 50% of the pitches he swung at, he's ahead of Dunn, WMP, and Kearns on the depth chart already.

Nationals to Sink the Sea Men

It's amazing what lack of confidence does to you. As I was following yesterday's game on MLB Gameday (Note to Gameday: I HATE your little blue ball that says 'in play, run(s)'. Why the fuck put that up? Just wait until you can list what it was (Single, double, how many RBI, etc) for Flores' sake. Do you know what it's like screaming at the monitor, "YAY! Run(s) scored!!" and having to wonder just how many it may be, as we wait for your slow, laggish ass to actually show how many?) I found myself not expecting anyone to drive in runs. The RBI's were like little gifts from heaven.
So, I follow this series in to Seattle with the acceptance of getting swept. If It works out that way, hey, good for me! If we win one or more, it's like my birthday!
Shawn Hill looks to stop the two game skid going up against R.A. Dickey. Seriously. That's what the M's list him as. There's a joke in there somewhere, but God damn if I can find it. Speaking of God damn, the game starts at 10:10 pm here on the East coast. Zippie chance I can enjoy the game now, as I'll already be eight sheets to the wind at that point. If anyone in the DC area would be up for bailing me out tonight because I got arrested for standing on the bar and ripping the TV from it's wall mount, please leave your contact info in the comments. I promise to pay you back for the bail (maybe) and give you a big hug. Thanks!

Figuroroa's talking about professionalism?

A quote from Nelson Figgerroa:

Nelson Figueroa knows about bush league baseball. After all, he's toured the world trying to resurrect his major league career.

But not until Monday night did Figueroa witness a truly amateurish display, the Mets pitcher suggested. Incensed at the chants emanating from the Washington dugout during the Mets' 10-4 loss Monday night at Shea, Figueroa ripped the Nationals afterward.

"They were cheerleading in the dugout like a bunch of softball girls," Figueroa said. "I'm a professional, just like anybody else. I take huge offense to that. If that's what a last-place team needs to do to fire themselves up, so be it. I think you need to show a little bit more class, a little bit more professionalism. They won tonight, but again, in the long run, they are who they are."

I'm not sure what a girls softball team would sound like, but judging from his line last night (5.0 IP 5H 6R 5 BB 2HBP 9.00 ERA 2.40 WHIP), he probably heard some of this from the Nats dugout:

• Figgy, you throw like a girl.
• Your mother wears army boots!
• Figs, you're turning into Mackey Sasser tonight.
• We want a pitcher, not a belly itcher.
• You just walked a guy twice with a career OBP of .333
• Maybe the FBI could help you find the plate.
  
• Fuck off, you fucking fuck!
• How's your wife and my kids?
• You know, you're not pitching very well at all tonight, sir.
• Figs, I've seen better arms on a snake.
• What's that on the mound? Is that a human, or a 6'1" pair of eyebrows?
• Figs, you're getting smoked like you're some weed at a Phish show.
  

EDIT: How did I miss that you got demoted, Figgie? Have fun in New Orleans, sissy.