Did you see Nathan Karns' first strikeout?

If you said no, don't worry, home plate umpire Tom Hallion missed it, too. If you said yes, well, while technically Nathan striking out Yamaico Navarro in the second inning was his first, you still didn't really see his first.

I emailed Tom Hallion* a link to my site, and told him I had a post dedicated to him, and asked him to please stop in. I'm going to take this moment to address a certain at bat with Mr. Hallion, so you guys just blend into the background of wherever you are, as to not scare Tom. Also, if you have gum in your mouth, please don't snap it, and make sure your ringers are on silent.

So, Tom, it's the top of the first inning. Manny Machado, the second hitter of the ballgame, steps in to face Nathan Karns. (Real men use their entire first name, Manny Manuel.) The count gets to 0-2.  And, well, here's the video tape:

That pitch looked good to me, dummy!

Need more? Here's the pitch track, which plots where the pitches are in relation to the strike zone. Green squares are pitches you called balls. Red squares are pitches you called strikes:

You called the pitch in question a ball, when it was clearly not a ball. At no point in looking at this plot does it even appear it could ever be construed as a ball.

Are you with me, Tom? Look, here's the pitch track with arrows pointing to the ball in question, Tom. See, you need those arrows cause you all blind and stuff, apparently.

So, you blew it. Machado should have been sat down after three pitches. Case closed. End of story. Finito Santiago. Frankly, Tom, a little league umpire could have got that right. (A little league umpire would also think your strike three call is garish...

... and have you seen some of their strike three calls?)

Jerk.

*I did not email Tom Hallion. Mostly because even if I did email Tom Hallion, Tom Hallion would move it to his spam/trash folder, because Tom Hallion is really, really, really bad at identifying good things from bad things.

Stephen Strasburg was erred by the scamp in blue!

Hi, ladies and germs. Miss me? Really? Well, I didn't miss you either, so there.

/Sobs in the corner while petting Danny Espinosa's bobblehead.

So, Stephen Strasburg (the latest member of the high profile Opening Day Starter club) pitched in yesterday's ballgame against the Mets. He was cruising along, you know, all Stras-like, when he ran into Lucas Duda HP umpire Hunter Wendelstedt. Stevie Stras had Lucas Duda 1-2 and threw a nasty breaking ball to strike him out. Only he didn't. Wendelstedt was too busy lighting his crack pipe to see the pitch, and called it a ball. You can guess what happened next, right? You got it. Home run. Hunter Wendelstedt 1, Washington Nationals 0.

A written description of these events really doesn't do it justice, so I made my first video of 2012. Hooray! Bully! Huzzah! (Come on, folks. Can you at least act interested? Sigh...) So, without further ado, I present to to, the worst call in the history of calls*.



As you saw, that ball was right down the middle. I mean, Strasburg starts heading off the mound, and Duda starts heading to the dugout, for Christ's sake!

Okay, I'm doing this post as a drive-by, so I'm outta here. Be on the look out for new posts soon, as well as a new shirt! Here's a hint - It's Gio Gonzalez. (That hint was for any Phillies fans that read this blog. I didn't want you all to have to waste half a day trying to figure out a harder hint.) Adios, muchachos!

*I apologize for the shakiness of the video. I had to hold up the camera and record the TV, cause, well, that's how I roll. I asked for a teeny tripod for Christmas, but no one got me it. Maybe I'll ask Hunter Wendelstedt for one, cause he appears great at granting people wishes. I guess I just need to write him that wishlist on Mets letterhead.

Manny Acta needs to get medieval on some asses.

So, I'm watching last night's game epic screw job, and I'm fucking pissed. The whole Daniel Murphy homerun/no homerun thing had me fuming. Look... there are many factors that played into it (Dunn not hustling the most glaring), but here's the bottom line. The play was ruled as a triple on the field. In order to overturn the call there has to be "clear and convincing evidence."

The score was tied 3-3 with a runner on first and no outs when Murphy hit the ball. A runner was thrown out at home on the play, with the batter ending up on 3rd. It's still 3-3 but with one out, and a runner at third. The umpires adjourn to view the replays eat donuts and laugh about "how awful this Nats team is." Then, they waddle back out onto the field, and give the homerun signal.

The crowd goes bonkers, as the score is now 5-3 and there are no outs. This brings Manny to a fucking boiling rage. Remember, it requires clear-cut evidence to overturn a call on the field. Clear cut, my ass. I mean, this call was blown so bad, it looked like a Granny's Gone Wild porno. Manny can't, and won't stand for this shit, so he bolts out of the dugout to give the umps a big piece of his Dominican mind. I caught it on video and posted it below.

Look at that fire! Look at that intensity! He's laying it on the line, man! He's letting the umps know they destroyed that call, and is showing his squad how much a win matters to him.

Oh, wait. That's not actual video above. You see, the only one who argued the call was Adam Dunn (and props to The Big Donkey for that. Gotta sell it).

That's right. Manny did diddly squat. Fucking sat on his hands. Maybe said, "Gosh golly, I was sure that wasn't a homerun. Oh well, the umpires always get it right. Besides, who am I to argue with those guys? They're good family men."

Whether they got the call right, or wrong, it was a game changing call. Ryan Zimmerman said

"It was a huge blow"

Huge blow? It was a testicle shot. Good thing your mentor, leader, and motivator of the squad (cough, Manny, cough) let it be known that he was super fucking pissed.

Or, he didn't.

All I can say at this point, is that I hope to God I never find myself in a position where Manny has to stand up for me.

"Hey, Manny, you remember that one time that I had that 15 minute conversation with you in the clubhouse during the Nats open house for season ticket holders?"

"I sure do, and that was a good time. Thanks for coming out and supporting the team all season."

"Well, Manny, I'm glad you remember that meeting. You see... The police arrested and charged me with a murder. But... I couldn't have commited this murder. In fact, the coroner placed the time of death at the exact moment in which I was talking with you. Can you testify that I couldn't of committed this heinous act, since I was in your presence the whole time?"

"Well, wow. Gosh, dude. I mean... it is the police and all. They always get it right. Maybe I was talking to a hologram. Yeah, that must be it. I was talking to a hologram. Good luck to you! Come on out and support the team when you get paroled. Don't drop the soap."

Ugh.