Monday, September 15, 2008

Strasburg at the cost of Nationals wins?

It's something I've brushed up against before, but never actually focused on: Winning games vs. losing games, and getting Steven Strasburg at the first overall pick.
I had a huge write up on Strasburg, but I scrapped it 'cause I didn't know where I was going with it. The huge "tank the season" push was barely around at that time, but it's steam rolled it's way to a huge, ugly, boorish ball of disgust now.
Can I be frank here?
If you're rooting for the Nats to lose, you're dead to me. Please, go straight to jail, and do not collect $100. (Is that the right amount? I haven't played Monopoly in years. The board game, that is. I've been playing monopoly with sexiness and wittiness for decades.)
Cheeks has a poll on his journal entry today. If the votes for wanting the team to win don't beat out the votes wanting the team to lose, I'm hacking the Post's servers, grabbing all the IP addresses of those that voted "I want them to lose", and vandalizing something you own, cause you're vandalizing baseball (which is very near and dear to me).
I'll kick your garden gnome. I'll put holes in your water hose. I'll pour sugar in your gas tanks. I might even replace your pet with a look-a-like stuffed animal, because that animal deserves to live in a home full of hope. Not that black fucking hole of pessimism that you call a home. It's simple, either you're a fan, and you root for a win every damn game, or you're a "fan", and are rooting for the 1st overall pick.
If you don't find yourself screaming and crying and throwing things when you witness innings such as the 8th inning of Sunday's game, I don't want you on my team's side. (I'd post the box score of that inning here, but I don't think the interwebs has enough space for it to be posted twice. Instead, you can find it here. WARNING: Only click that link if you enjoy things such as getting hit in the groin, falling off the monkey bars and getting the wind knocked out of you, or rooting for the Phillies or Mets.) If you don't get excited when Milledge drives in a run in the top of the 9th, to pull the Nats to within one, and Big Bad DOOKS! steps up to the plate with a chance to go ahead by one, well...pardon my French, but fuck the fuck off.
If, on the other hand, you're on my side..well, come join the other 8,999 folks and me watching the game. Hell, come on over to my neighborhood bar. I'll buy you a cold one or six, and we'll scream and yell. Laugh and cry. Boot and rally. And maybe, just maybe, we'll see our boys win one. There's no greater joy than that, even if you are 27.5 games back.


Steven said...

Agreed. But it's Strasburg.

Anonymous said...

I'll join you at that bar as soon as I get back in the Eastern time zone, if you tell me where it is.

Just voted (you know how). I cannot believe the vote is just barely running 5-4 in favor of not tanking.