About those statues at Nats Park...

All pictures here have been ripped off borrowed from Nats320, which is a great blog that you all should stop by every chance you get. SBF is a really friendly guy, and his wife is cool, too. Say hi if you run into him at the ballpark.

Now, with that out of the way...

What in the shit is this crap? Seriously.

When the fuck did the Big Train grow extra arms? Is that Walter Johnson or Dr. Octopus?


Is this Josh Gibson? What in the hell is that growing out of his butt? Is he a peacock?

Hondo, buddy. So sorry. It appears you have a few arms and bats shooting out of your chest. Maybe you can head to the Doctor and get an ointment?



It seriously hurts my head when I try and wrap my brain around what the extra appendages are for. Look...I'm not the biggest expert on art. I mean, my favorite painting is Starry Night, by Van Gogh, which may - or may not - actually have been drawn by a 3rd grader. So I like my stuff simple, I guess. I'll never understand the finer points of art.

::sigh::



Quick tip o' the curly W cap to DCProSportsReport. They review Nationals' blogs, and I was lucky enough to have been reviewed recently. It's a brief review, but they do say this:

Kind of an interesting blog.

Thanks for that, guys. I appreciate it. And in order to keep on topic with the review... can I interest you in adding a God damn star or two to that rating?

Lastings Milledge = a circus.

So, I'm watching last night's game train wreck, and I notice a lot of things. The most glaring, however, was Lastings Milledge's defense. I wrote in a post from last year about the rumors of Dukes going to center field:

Look, I'll admit Milledge didn't play the best CF in the world last year. I do contend, however, that he made tremendous strides out there. His defense at the end of the year was waaaaay better than his defense to start the year. He used to track fly balls by guessing where it might land, and make the biggest circle possible to get to said landing point. At the end? He would guess where it might land and make a neat little... arc. But, hey, it's progress, right?

Honeslty, folks, I am a huge Lastings fan. But I don't know what to do about his defense anymore. I'm watching the last two games, and see Lastings just getting horrible jumps and taking brutal routes. I swear to Flores, every time a fly ball was hit his way last night, I just thought "Someone cue Yakity fucking Sax." Sure enough, he misplayed one.

So. Since I love you guys, I now present to you what I like to call, "What Goes On In My Head Every Time a Fly Ball Gets Hit Lastings' Way."

Now, get some popcorn, your favorite beverage, and prepare to enter my world. Enjoy.

Ryan Zimmerman = Smiley Gonzalez??

My heart sank when I saw this graphic pop up on yesterday's (CRAPPY NON-HD) masn broadcast.




I'm sure we're all still reeling from the Smiley Gonzalez (Did we ever figure out his name? Carlos Alvarez? Daniel Lugo? Carlos Lugo? Alvarez Daniel? Sarunas Jasikevicius?) fiasco, so I know this must be like Ray Lewis' stabbing of that guy who was already beaten up by his posse and couldn't defend himself. A sucker punch. Right to the groin.

But...if there's one thing I've learned, it's that the media is never wrong. Ever. So, I'm sorry to break it to you guys...but Ryan's really 49 years old. (Okay, I may be nit-picking a little. It's only his fourth opening day start, but it is his fifth season. No. Fuck it. I'm not nit-picking. These people get paid to do this shit. Why in Flores' name can't they get things right?)

And to answer your question...No. I will not speak of last night's game debacle. I do not feel the need to regurgitate that stuff like I was the daddy eagle, and you're the babies. You're big folks. So stop crying. Please?

My first "over reacting" post

...and not even one game in.

Look, my love for Emilio Bonifacio was well known last year (nine posts about him in 41 games played last year). I didn't like the trade then, but am vomiting at it now.

Boni is 3 for 3 with two SB and an inside the park HR. Anderson Hernandez is on the DL. Belliard has an error. Nope, didn't need Bonesy at all, did we. (Oh, yeah...Willingham is on the bench, with Olsen to go lose tomorrow.)

So, I've decided to start drinking heavily rather early. I just found my cat in the corner, and took a picture, too!



8-2 Marlins after 5 innings. Mr. Yuengling is gonna get rich as shit off of me tonight.

Yeeeeeeeee Hawwwwwwww

Opening Day, Bitches!

Eyebrows is on the bumb vs. Tobasco and the Marlins.

Johnny boy's gonna hook the Fish, haul 'em in the boat, and give them to Dmitri Young Ray King Adam Dunn to eat. (It's pretty amazing that he's considered the fat body on the squad, no?)

Anyway, to recycle from last year's Nolasco post (cause I'm TOO GOD DAMN BUSY AT MY SLAVE JOB!):

Lannan for the good guys, against stinky ol' Ricky Tabasco for the Marlins. Ricky is from Corona, CA, and is sporting a wickedly hairy chin, and a nasty snarl.


Ain't he a tough looking one? Cheer up, Ricky. You're from Corona, CA. Home of The Golden Cheese Company of California, one of the largest cheese factories in the world!

(And I'd be remiss if I didn't say this... Really, guys? Kearns in right over DOOKS!? Ya'll are gonna get a text message from a certain guy whose name rhymes with Smoliga Fooks. God. Dammit.)