Tuesday, July 28, 2009

The Hammer, Rizzo, and Da Meat Hook.

Welp... Josh Willingham didn't just hit one grand slam last night, and he didn't just he two grand slams last night, but he hit... (What's that? Oh, crap. I'm so used to having to make shit up, that I was already in 'extreme exaggeration mode' there. Sorry!) Yes, it's true. Josh Willingham hit two grand slams last night in consecutive at bats. It was such a great feat, that it's only the 13th time in history it's happened. In fact, if you go to espn.com you can find a blurb about it buried way below articles on Alfonso Soriano hitting a walk-off grand slam*, and the potential end of John Smoltz' career. Keep looking. It's there. See? Just look at this teeny tiny caption under the video. Yup... it's called the "ESPNews Highlight Of The Night", folks.

In case you didn't see it, here's the video that I stole got from MLB.com.

The Brewers announcers don't make that big a deal out of it, of course, but I do remember Rob Dibble shouting "SMACK 'EM YAK 'EM!" during a replay. (Also of note... I can't remember the last time I saw so many dudes wearing jorts. Seriously, every crowd shot had one or two jort wearers. It was amazing. God bless Wisconsin.) Oh, and do they broadcast from left-center field? Why do they say "that's coming our way" on the second grand slam ball? Someone produce answers, stat.

Last night was also the first time watching a game with my neighbor's cat. His owner hates baseball, but was out of town, so I watched it with him. Cool cat, btw. Just prop him up on the couch, and feed him beers, and he's happy. Anyway, after The Hammer hit his second grand slam, I snapped a picture of the lil' guy watching it.

That lil' dude had me playing it over and over again on the DVR. He really likes baseball. Or, was really drunk from the seven beers I gave him. Either way, he's a brand new cat after staying with me last night.

So, much props, Mr. Willingham(mer). (Ripped off of Jamie Mottram's Twitter feed.) He may be the 13th player in MLB history to do that, but he's only the 3rd player to do it in the National League. If Mike Rizzo was going to trade him, I don't think there's a chance in Hell his value will ever be higher than right now.

Speaking of trading... The trade deadline in Friday, 7/31. It looks like the Nats lost out on moving Nick Johnson to either the Red Sox or the Giants, as they chose to trade for one of the LaRoche brothers and Ryan Garko respectively. There are grumblings out there that the Cubs are interested in Joey Beimel, and others have talked about Willingham and Willie Harris, but has Mike Rizzo waited too long or asked too much for them? There are those that say yes, but I just came across this column by Phil Wood where some scouts have nice things to say about Rizzo. All of which I agree with, btw.

"Look at the talent this guy has drafted for Washington," the AL scout said. "And the trade with Pittsburgh was outstanding." Certainly Nyjer Morgan has made an impact on this team, but this guy came back to the draft. "Washington has so many good arms throughout their system," he said, "they're not going to be doormats for long."

"What else does Riz have to do to lose the interim tag?", said the NL scout. "Taking over that job under those circumstances during spring training? Somebody needs to explain to me how he could've done any better cleaning up the mess Bowden left behind."

I, too, can't understand why he's still got that damn interim tag on him. There have even been rumors that Boras is reluctant to negotiate with the Nats over Strasburg because Boras/Strasburg have no idea what the Nats are doing with their front office. (I know, I know. Posturing. Let's wait until August 13-ish to start worrying. But it does bring up a good point.)

Until you're replaced though, Mike... pull the trigger. Slick ain't getting any younger, nor healthier, dammit. (And He's not a candidate for re-signing with us, in my opinion. I'm pretty sure he'd choose to sign with someone that can win now, as opposed to the Nats, which are a win in 2-3 years club.)

And, finally, Dmitri Young went on the DL with a torn jaw muscle quad, thus ending his year. Will it also end his Nationals career? If his text messages are any indications... then yes, it will.
The first baseman said in a text message on Sunday that he is "preparing myself 4 next year sumwhere."

I'll miss ya, Meat, but not your contract. That $5MM (Jesus, JimBo!) can now go to better use. Let's hope that if your baseball career is, indeed, over that you will start what is bound to be a great new career in the world of competitive eating. I might not pay $20 to see you wobble around first base, but I sure as well would pay $5 to see you destroy some chicken wings. Godspeed, to you, and your hair.

*A note on Soriano's grand slam - I was watching SportsCenter, and they showed a clip of the game winner from a different angle any of the clips I can find online. It showed Soriano showboating all the way around the infield, and giving the John Cena 'you can't see me' hand gesture to the Astros dugout. (Partial glimpse on this video as he rounds third.) I'm not one on impassioned speeches about the "right way" to play the game and all, but I'll just say this... I hope Halladay Oswalt [Damn you, trade deadline for getting him in my head!] drills him in his fucking ear tonight. And I'm pretty sure he will.


Rob Birch said...

Some chatter here (Dallas) about the Rangers having serious interest in Willingham (and Dunn, but those have quited looking at the price tag). Not gonna happen. The Rangers already have a "Hammer" nickname in Hank Blalock.

Section 138 said...

According to Wikipedia, he likes to pound some crotches with his hammer.
"Personal Life
Hank Blalock adheres to the Rough Edge lifestyle. That means he drinks like W.C. Fields, does tobacco like Sam Elliott, and fucks like Ron Jeremy. He thinks that C.J. Wilson, proponent of the Straight Edge lifestyle, is an enormous vagina."
http://bit.ly/168WaN (Prolly deleted by now, though)

Willingham ain't going anywhere unless Rizzo is blown away.

Didn't Blalock miss some time cause that idiot was too stupid to find the right size shoes?

Rob Birch said...

*Breaking News*
Any wonder why the Nats suck? Listen to the "RNB - Bacsik" audio and learn.


Section 138 said...

I don't get it. They smoked some weed with Rickey Henderson. How do they suck?
You know who sucks? C.J. Wilson.

Anonymous said...

The Nats are a win in 2-3 years club huh? I hope they're not taking notes on the "rebuilding" process the Rats have been in for WAAAAAAAY too long now!

Anonymous said...

On another note, I LOVE the pictures . . . I think a video of your buddy Puttzy riding a bull needs to appear in a future blog or on facebook . . . just an idea. I'd do it myself but I don't have the patience to deal with that shit. I waste it all watching the Rats. :)