Adam is a tad laid back.

You know... I didn't have any preconceived notions of Adam Dunn when he came here.

Now, though?

I'm 900% positive he's the most laid back guy on the planet. He makes Jeff Lebowski look like Mr. Pink from Reservoir Dogs. How else can you explain this reaction to an RBI double single that Josh hit to tie the game in the bottom of the 8th inning? (If all you get is a small black square below, click on that. Why? Beats the shit outta me. The gif sometimes pops up, sometimes doesn't.)

The dude abides. Now, who do you think Donny is? Quick, someone get Collin Balester here, pronto!

Gentleman Josh and debonair Dunn. Take III.

[Update: 8/06. It was pointed out to me that I'm an absolute moron. I spelled Clippard's name wrong in the nickname poll. It should obviously read Clippard the Big Red Dog. Stupid "L"s.]

What's that? We've done this already? Yeah, yeah. I know... but damn if this shit doesn't make me giggle. I have no clue why, either. So... for you're viewing pleasure, Misters Dunn and Willingham, once again.

The Donkey and the Hammer. Proper gents. from Section 138 on Vimeo.

Okay. That's the last of that. I swear think.

Super busy at work today, but for those of you guys that don't look at the comments, my nickname for Tyler Clippard (which is Goggles), has been challenged by Carl.

So, it is my pleasure to present to you the first ever Section 138 poll. Please vote accordingly on the top right of the page. As for rules? There are no rules. At least from me. I would imagine there are rules from blogger, but I didn't care enough to look those up. So, anyway... try and stuff the ballot boxes if you want, I have no clue if it will actually allow you. Get your friends (If, unlike me, you actually have any) to vote . Get your pets, bobble heads, and baseball cards to vote. But most of all, Goddammit, do your civic duty, and check one of those boxes yourself. Who knows... we might even get 11 votes out of this, and put it to rest for once and for all.

Adam Dunn: Gentleman Extraordinaire! And a Drew Storen nickname update.

I had a good buddy of mine (The Doctor, who comments often) point this out to me yesterday. It appears that whenever either Adam Dunn or Josh Willingham do something good (say, hit a home run, or "Code Red" Flop in the home team clubhouse of Miller Park), Mr. Dunn insists upon shaking Josh's hand.

Evidence of this comes in the form of a crappy ass video that I spent 3 hours making into the wee hours of the night last night. It's a piece of shit, and I hope you're a good reader, cause the title pages fly by pretty quick, but overall, I had fun. (Not enough to ever... and I mean EVER do it again, though.) So... kick back, relax, and enjoy!

Josh and Adam are Fancy Pants gentlemen. from Section 138 on Vimeo.

Not to be outdone by my marvelous video production, however, is this new addition to the Drew Storen nickname list. It came from an anonymous commenter back on my July 22 Drew Storen post. Revel in all it's glory:

Seems obvious to me. 22 Ks in his last 11 innings with one hit and no walks.

"El Drew K"

God Damn that's good. If I can ever get an hour or two to get all the nickname suggestions for Drew together, I'll make that it's own post.

2:05 game today, folks. The Nats are facing Yovani Gallardo who, even though he attended a high school known to produce... umm... not the brightest students (Example A: This picket sign), is actually quite astute in the pitching department. As the great Crash Davis once said, "don't think Meat, just throw." He'll have to throw his ass off if he hopes to avoid any handshaking today. Go get him, boys!

The Hammer, Rizzo, and Da Meat Hook.

Welp... Josh Willingham didn't just hit one grand slam last night, and he didn't just he two grand slams last night, but he hit... (What's that? Oh, crap. I'm so used to having to make shit up, that I was already in 'extreme exaggeration mode' there. Sorry!) Yes, it's true. Josh Willingham hit two grand slams last night in consecutive at bats. It was such a great feat, that it's only the 13th time in history it's happened. In fact, if you go to espn.com you can find a blurb about it buried way below articles on Alfonso Soriano hitting a walk-off grand slam*, and the potential end of John Smoltz' career. Keep looking. It's there. See? Just look at this teeny tiny caption under the video. Yup... it's called the "ESPNews Highlight Of The Night", folks.

In case you didn't see it, here's the video that I stole got from MLB.com.

The Brewers announcers don't make that big a deal out of it, of course, but I do remember Rob Dibble shouting "SMACK 'EM YAK 'EM!" during a replay. (Also of note... I can't remember the last time I saw so many dudes wearing jorts. Seriously, every crowd shot had one or two jort wearers. It was amazing. God bless Wisconsin.) Oh, and do they broadcast from left-center field? Why do they say "that's coming our way" on the second grand slam ball? Someone produce answers, stat.

Last night was also the first time watching a game with my neighbor's cat. His owner hates baseball, but was out of town, so I watched it with him. Cool cat, btw. Just prop him up on the couch, and feed him beers, and he's happy. Anyway, after The Hammer hit his second grand slam, I snapped a picture of the lil' guy watching it.


That lil' dude had me playing it over and over again on the DVR. He really likes baseball. Or, was really drunk from the seven beers I gave him. Either way, he's a brand new cat after staying with me last night.

So, much props, Mr. Willingham(mer). (Ripped off of Jamie Mottram's Twitter feed.) He may be the 13th player in MLB history to do that, but he's only the 3rd player to do it in the National League. If Mike Rizzo was going to trade him, I don't think there's a chance in Hell his value will ever be higher than right now.

Speaking of trading... The trade deadline in Friday, 7/31. It looks like the Nats lost out on moving Nick Johnson to either the Red Sox or the Giants, as they chose to trade for one of the LaRoche brothers and Ryan Garko respectively. There are grumblings out there that the Cubs are interested in Joey Beimel, and others have talked about Willingham and Willie Harris, but has Mike Rizzo waited too long or asked too much for them? There are those that say yes, but I just came across this column by Phil Wood where some scouts have nice things to say about Rizzo. All of which I agree with, btw.

"Look at the talent this guy has drafted for Washington," the AL scout said. "And the trade with Pittsburgh was outstanding." Certainly Nyjer Morgan has made an impact on this team, but this guy came back to the draft. "Washington has so many good arms throughout their system," he said, "they're not going to be doormats for long."

"What else does Riz have to do to lose the interim tag?", said the NL scout. "Taking over that job under those circumstances during spring training? Somebody needs to explain to me how he could've done any better cleaning up the mess Bowden left behind."

I, too, can't understand why he's still got that damn interim tag on him. There have even been rumors that Boras is reluctant to negotiate with the Nats over Strasburg because Boras/Strasburg have no idea what the Nats are doing with their front office. (I know, I know. Posturing. Let's wait until August 13-ish to start worrying. But it does bring up a good point.)

Until you're replaced though, Mike... pull the trigger. Slick ain't getting any younger, nor healthier, dammit. (And He's not a candidate for re-signing with us, in my opinion. I'm pretty sure he'd choose to sign with someone that can win now, as opposed to the Nats, which are a win in 2-3 years club.)

And, finally, Dmitri Young went on the DL with a torn jaw muscle quad, thus ending his year. Will it also end his Nationals career? If his text messages are any indications... then yes, it will.

The first baseman said in a text message on Sunday that he is "preparing myself 4 next year sumwhere."

I'll miss ya, Meat, but not your contract. That $5MM (Jesus, JimBo!) can now go to better use. Let's hope that if your baseball career is, indeed, over that you will start what is bound to be a great new career in the world of competitive eating. I might not pay $20 to see you wobble around first base, but I sure as well would pay $5 to see you destroy some chicken wings. Godspeed, to you, and your hair.



*A note on Soriano's grand slam - I was watching SportsCenter, and they showed a clip of the game winner from a different angle any of the clips I can find online. It showed Soriano showboating all the way around the infield, and giving the John Cena 'you can't see me' hand gesture to the Astros dugout. (Partial glimpse on this video as he rounds third.) I'm not one on impassioned speeches about the "right way" to play the game and all, but I'll just say this... I hope Halladay Oswalt [Damn you, trade deadline for getting him in my head!] drills him in his fucking ear tonight. And I'm pretty sure he will.

Update on the Bonifacio, Dean, Smolinski for Olsen, Willingham trade.

Okay. I had overnight to think about it, and I crunched a couple numbers. First, the players coming to Washington:

• Joshua David Willingham. Born 2/17/79 (That makes him 29.) Goes by Josh, and has somewhere along the line been given the nickname "The Hammer." (Allrighty, then.) He was drafted in the 17th round of the 2000 draft out of the renowned baseball institution of...... the University of North Alabama. He is one of four former UNA Lions to play in the bigs, and the first since 2001. No, you haven't heard of any of the other three. His first taste of the Big Leagues came in 2004 and 2005 when he played in a combined 28 games. He grabbed the starting left field gig in 2006 and had a decent season, going .277/.356/.496 with 26 HR and 74 RBI in 132 games. He received one third place vote for the RoY, finishing tied for 9th. He seems to have been plagued by nagging injuries, based on the different bios out there on him. It might have something to do with the fact that he stands right on top of the fricking plate, though, since he's ranked 3rd in hit by pitches in the last two years. Anyway, he seems to be an okay fielder at fielding balls (0 errors in 08, 3 in 07), but might not be the fastest cat out there getting to balls, as he ranked 12th out of the 16 starting NL left fielders in range factor, with a 1.82. The league avg was 1.90. (OH! Who was number one in range factor? Wee-Willie Harris.) He's projected at 20-25 HR per year, and is arbitration eligible. He will certainly see an increase from his $405K 08 salary. Avg 162 game stats: .266/.361/.472 68BB, 127K, 32 2B, 25 HR, and 85 RBI. That strikeout to walk ratio kinda sucks (1.86 K's per BB), but it sure as hell beats Wily Mo's (4.83 K's per BB.)

• Scott Matthew Olsen. Born 1/12/84, which puts him at 24. He was drafted in the 6th round of the 2002 draft out of Crystal Lake South High School in Michigan. He goes by a few names, such as "Don't tase me bro", "butt-head", and "stoopid butt-head". There's not enough room on blogger for me to list all of his...."problems", but here are some: Punched in the eye by a teammate in 2006; Neck grabbed by his manager in 2006; Accused a teammate of not giving his full effort on a fielding play, threw a tantrum in the dugout over it, and almost got his ass whooped; Made an obscene gesture to the fans in 2007 (Hmm..Dooksie might like this guy, actually.); Received a 2 game suspension in 2007 for insubordination (He threw another tantrum, ripped of his jersey, and threw it at someone on the ball club. He was pinned against the wall by a teammate for this.); And finally, he has no problem giving the Police the finger. See, in July of 2007, he was clocked for speeding, and an officer tried to pull him over. "Not so fast!", said Scottie. He led the police on a little journey as he continued to drive to his house a little ways away. He pulled up into his driveway, got out of his car, and sat in a plastic lawn chair on his lawn, taunting the police. They finally tased him, as he tried to kick them on their attempts to grab him. He was arrested for DUI, resiting arrest with violence, fleeing and eluding a police officer, and childish buffoonery. He does have one good conduct report on his record, however. In 2006 he said he hated the Phillies. In 2007 he and Chase "I love to say fuck" Utley got in a shouting match, and Scott encouraged him to engage in fisticuffs. Chase declined because, well, he only likes to hit players that are not able to defend themselves. Chalk one up for Scottie, and I think he might help out the other Utley haters on the club. I didn't leave much room for stats, did I? Whoopsie! Here's the brief rundown of his avg season: 33 starts, 194 IP (5.8 IP/start), 85 BB 166 K's, 10 W 12 L, 4.04 ERA, and a 1.30 whip. The kid can be an innings eater, has strikeout potential, is a lefty, and projects to a number 3 starter. If he can harness his control, and mature a bit, he might be a solid number two. Like Willingham, he is also arbitration eligible, and finished with 1 RoY vote in 06 to finish tied for 9th.

Overall, I'm feeling a little better about the deal than I did last night. Anderson Hernandez looks to have the lock on 2nd base going into spring training, and I'm okay with that. Willingham either joins the stockpile of left fielders, or first baseman. If we can move Kearns, I would feel more positive, but let's see what else happens. I'm gonna miss Emilio and his speed and run production, and I was real high on him. I wish him the best, and hope for his sake the Marlins move Dan Uggla this off season. For details on P.J. Dean, and Jake Smolinski, I'm going to refer you over to Brian at NFA. Also, maybe one regular reader, the Doctor, could chime in. I know he was real high on Dean.