Tyler Clippard - Free At Last

So... I waited until it was triple confirmed to post it this time. Yes, my friends, our favorite movie is just about done.


With the Nationals recalling Tyler Clippard from Syracuse, and Kipper Wells being DFA, my mission is almost complete. All that's left is for some bad ass Morgan Freeman voice over, and a reunion on the beach between Tyler and... well... who ever he bonded with in jail Syracuse. So, if you will, read this in your best Red voice...

In 2009, Tyler Clippard escaped from Syracuse prison. All they found of him was a muddy set of Chiefs clothes, a bar of soap, and an old baseball glove, damn near worn down to the nubs. .... That's all it takes really, pressure, and time. That, and a low god-damned ERA. Like I said, in AAA a man will do anything to keep his mind occupied. It turns out Tyler's favorite hobby was striking fools out, and making opposing batters look bad. ..... Tyler crawled to freedom through five hundred yards of shit smelling foulness I can't even imagine, or maybe I just don't want too. Five hundred yards... that's the length of five football fields, just shy of half a mile.

Excuse me while I grab some tissues...

The ticker-tape parade is on God Dammit! No matter what Needham says!

Stammen, Detwiler, and a bet.

Lots of things going on behind the scenes, but no official word yet. That leaves us on our own to figure out what the fuck is going on.

Here's what we know:

• Ross Detwiler is starting Saturday's game.
• Daniel Cabrera was in the bullpen all game yesterday. He also didn't seem comfortable in the chairs. He has freaky long - giraffe like- legs.
• Now, Craig Stammen is getting the start tomorrow.

Now, with Stammen coming in tomorrow, we're one man over the 25 man roster limit. The Nats can't part with another position player, so that means it has to come from the pitching staff.

But who? How serious were they with DCab in the pen yesterday? (I say not much, since he didn't warm up yesterday. I think pretty much everyone else besides him warmed up. Maybe Kip Wells didn't? I know Joel, Mock, Julian, and Colome warmed up at least once.)

I haven't been able to figure out the rotation since the doubleheader fucked it all up. But, for what it's worth, mlb.com had tomorrow's start belonging to Cabrera. So, that seems to mean Cabrera is out, no? I'll wait until it's official before I start weeping with joy, however.

My guess at the rotation is Lannan, ?, Zimmermann, Martis, Detwiler. Just who sits in that ? spot? Is this a one start audition for Craig?

And finally... I bet Joel $20 that I could throw within 19 MPH of him over at the new bar-ish place that opened up outside the center field gates. They have a real nice looking radar station all set up. Right next to the bean bag toss stations. (Nuh uh. Ain't gonna get me to call it by its lamer known name. No way. Ever.) Anyway, Joel seemed like he wanted to take my money, but I highly doubt he would show up over there for lil' old me. Thinking back on it, actually, it may have been one of my stupider ideas. I blame it on the beer.

Post Flop, LoDu era begins...

After last night's game (which I ain't talking about. Why write about shit? Your writings may be good, but it still about shit.) Jimmy Bowden took the mic and made some announcement:

1. Felipe Lopez is being released. The Nats eat what's left of his $4.9MM for this year.
2. Paul LoDuca is being released. The Nats eat what's left of his $5MM for this year.
3. Elijah Dukes was recalled from his rehab assignment for his knee injury (which is worth talking about. When he twisted his shit, he was placed on the DL and we were told he would be out a minimum of 4-6 weeks. This was July 5th. Chico interviewed DOOKS! on the 6th, and Elijah had this to say:

   Q:Is it going to be hard to not push yourself too hard to come back, knowing how much you want to play?A: Oh, it ain't no question I'm going to push myself hard to come back. That's just the way I am. I don't like to sit around and do nothing. If I can do something to get back faster, I'm going to do it. I don't plan on taking as long as I can. I plan on taking as quick as I can." Say what you want about Elijah, the guy's a very fast healer, and loves to play baseball. Small man crush coming on for him.)

4. Emiliooooooooo is being called up.
5. Alberto Gonzalez (who was acquired from the New York Hankees yesterday at a trade deadline deal for some scrub AA pitcher) will be on the active roster, and be in the hizzie Friday, today.

OK, 2 bags of sand gone, 2 rookies coming up, and one MEAST (The Doctor, can we call him that?) re-joining the team. Looks like we need to lose one more from the roster. (I just heard Pete Orr making a phone call to his travel agent asking if he can get a plane ticket to Beijing. Coincidence?) I sure as fuck hope that spot isn't opened up because we have to put Goozie or ZIM! on the DL! (Zim got hit on the hand by a pitch last night and had to leave the game. X-Rays were negative. Goozie's been day to day on a bad thumb that was also hit by a pitch.)
With that said, I thought I'd take a shot at Friday's lineup. Check this junx out, and HOLLA AT YA BOI in the comments with ideas/corrections.

1. Emilio 2B
2. Milledge CF
3. Dukes LF
4. Kearns RF
5. Flores C
6. Gonzalez SS
7. Belliard 1B
   
8. Casto 3B
   

What say you, lurkers?

Bye, Flop?

I know, it's a few days old. I was going to write up today's day game vs. the BlO's, but we're in the 11th inning, with no sign of ending anytime soon.
So, on with the goodness.

Ken Rosenthal says the O's "have engaged in substantive conversations" to acquire Lopez. The likely return: just a marginal prospect.

For reals? I only have one thing to say.



A marginal prospect is more than I need. Shit, gimmie a sack o' baseballs and a lunch from Chipotle. He's all yours, suckers!

Fare thee well, Kinger

I kinda forced that last post, cause there wasn't much to write about. Now? It's getting good!

From Barry:

LHP Ray King is a free agent. The Nationals optioned him down to Class AAA Columbus last week. King [snip] declined. Therefore, he's a free agent.

Good riddance to fat rubbish. I'm not saying I hate you , Ray. Your prolly a nice guy and all..but..well..how to put it? If I had the choice of seeing your fat ass enter the game in a clutch situation, or punching an angel in the throat, and dealing with those repercussions? Well, I'll deal with Jeebus, thanks.

There is a God, and his name is Jim.

Burger shown the door.

Later, you big fat tater. Don't the doorknob hit your gravy boat ass on the way out!

Mike O'Connor takes his spot. He will go long relief, prolly taking over for hammerhands.

Rumors swirl that King may actually be done with the Nats for good. Please happen. Pretty please!

Shawn Hill (maybe) tonight. Two starts in a row might be some sort of record for him. He's going against Perez. I have no clue what his last name is, and I don't have the time to look (I'm on my way out the door for a game. Send me the score via telekinesis). Let's just call him Orlando, and hope we're close.