JESUS + Lannans = God + Moses?

My religion skills are rusty, so someone let me know if that post title makes no sense. That being said, last night was good. NAY, last night was grand! The Doctor got to see the new Park (you like?), and got to witness Johnny Lannans being rewarded. Finally. That JESUS! pinch hit homer was like the hooker having a pretty face, icing on the cake. Unless the hooker has herpes. Then there would be some analogy about making a trip to the clinic, and all the Nats on the DL. Car pooling is available, if anyone else on the squad wants to get hurt.
Okay, on to other things, cause they're killing me.
Hey, did you know the All-Star Game/festivities are next week? And at Yankee Stadium? Well, if you're on the MLB mailing list like I am, you sure do. Note to MLB: I fucking get it. Please cease and desist any further communications you had planned to send. Please. Pretty please, with TEH GOOZ on top. Stop.
I know it's not Nats related, but God dammit, I have a huge soft spot for Josh Hamilton in my heart. That kid can't get enough praise for overcoming his demons. (While we're on that subject, props to LoDu for not being photographed with any 21 year olds in Georgetown, or Old Town. WTG, dude.) Anyway, Josh hit his first walk-off home run last night. Off Francisco Rodriguez (also known as K-Rod, but who I refuse to call K-Rod, cause THERE'S NO FUCKING K IN HIS NAME!) no less. I used to know how to direct link to the exact play, but MLB dicked around with their game wraps. You'll have to find it yourself on the bottom here. It's well worth a watch, and I ain't afraid to admit it got a little dusty around here when I watched it for the first time.

Oh, and when did Texas sign Carrot Top?


Also, Crocs? Really, Texas? What, PoppedCollars.com didn't offer enough cash to be on your outfield wall?

That there offense is firing on all cylinders!

Jesus. Christ. No, not you, Joe Flowers....the one from the bible. I have nothing at all to say about last night's performance. Instead? I look forward to tonight, where one frequent commenter and one frequent lurker attend the game with my better half and I. In honor of JoeyDanny's visit, I brought the Diamondbacks to town (how was Phoenix?). For the Doctor allowing me to take him to his first ever Nationals Park experience, I dedicate the rest of this post to something near and dear his heart. NASCAR, Joe Gibbs Racing (JGR), and Tony Stewart.
Turn left. Lord, let my driver win. Fuck these Toyotas. (respectively.)

Yes, Tony asked to leave JGR so he could drive some American nameplates. Joe turned the other cheek and released him early from his contract. Jokes on you though, Tony. Hope you have fun burning in HELL!

In all seriousness, all Joe Gibbs needs to do is get Lance Berkman in a driver suit and no one will know Tony left. (Zero wins? Yeah, Lance could do that.)

14 of 25

Excuse my monkey math, please, cause I might be wrong on 1 or 2 peeps (I think just 1).
Of the original 25 man roster to start the year, 14 of them fuckers have gone on the DL. 5 of them have been on the DL more than once. FOURTEEN players for a total of 19 trips. (This may be wrong, because I counted Ryan Wagner. Was he on the 25 man to open the season?)
How do these 14 spread across the roster?

2 of the 5 starting pitchers (Rental, Hill(twice))
Both the starting, and back up catchers (LoDu and Estrada, both twice. Remember, JESUS and Wil weren't called up until the injuries )
Both 1B guys (Slick, Meat)
Starting 2B (Belly)
Starting 3B (Zimm)
The complete starting OF (WMP/Dukes (twice for Dukes), Milledge, Kearns)
Closer (Cordero)
One reliever (Wagner)

So, we have only had 1 consistent position player (GOOZ!) and 2 starting pitchers (Redding/Lannan). Remeber, this rotation has had Bergmann, Chico, Mock, Balester, and Clippard start in the 4/5 spots. The good news? The bullpen has been very healthy. The bad news? The bullpen has been awful ('cept for the Wookie, he's been OK.).

Bring on the Diamondbacks, damnit. Tonight, it's Lannans vs. Owings. Bring forth the wins, fellas. Oh, btw...Jimbo...I'll be in the stands tomorrow in case someone else breaks and you need a player.

Cover these fuckers in bubble wrap

This is getting ridiculous. I think them saying DOOKS will be out for 4-6 weeks is optimistic. Might be 2 months. Might be the year. I mean, all that's left is for someone to be euthanized during a game. At this point, do we refuse to trade Flop and Capt. Redd because we need them as injury insurance?


EDIT: Fuckers. I have Chico on there twice. Well..I meant to do that! Yeah! Chico's soooooo good, his injury is twice as devastating to the team!

Wondering kitty wanted to publicly wonder again...

What to say?

Ya know? It's the half way point, so I should probably do a mid-point retrospective, right? But...I can't. I can't allow myself to overlook last night's performance by Balester coupled with another BELLY! dinger.
(Full disclosure: I umpired last night, so I didn't see the game live. I heard Charlie's wrap up on the way back so I knew the outcome. Did this make me view the game differently when I watched it this morning? I'm not sure.)
Out of all three kids that have gotten Nats debuts as a starter this year, Collin is head and shoulders above Clippard and Mock (IMO). His control was absolutely, positively, emphatically, undoubtedly phenomenal. PHE-FUCKIN-NOMENAL. His is, indeed, a super sensational diaper dandy. He didn't throw his change too often, and he doesn't have a devastating curve ball, but with the way he locates his fastball he doesn't need to. It has late movement, and just paints the corners. True, his pitch count was up there (95 in 5 innings), and he went to long counts on quite a few batters (damn close to a 60/40 ratio of strikes to balls) but the laid back kid from Huntington Beach didn't seem to panic. He would just locate another fastball right were he needed too, and either jammed the guy for a pop up, or went down and away for a ground ball. Bottom line? Color me impressed.
Now, to be realistic... the kid's gonna have a few bad games. Maybe more than a few. Scouts will see him more, and more and there will be a gameplan for him. He might be off some nights and lose his location. That could get him in a lil' bit o' hot water if he doesn't have a sharp curve or the change-up to fall back on, but I think he'll stick in the rotation the rest of the year (seriously).

Instead of looking back (where, let's face it, I would just be saying "Guzman" and "Lannan/Redding") let's say fuck it to the '08 season, and look at what we have set in stone for the Nationals of '09 and beyond, shall we?

SP: John Lannan (23), Collin Balester (turned 22 last month), Mock/Clippard (24/23). (Detweiler? (22))
C: Jesus Flores (23)
1B: Unknown. (Marrero, the #1 prospect in the orginization, is only 19. Not sure we'll see him that soon.)
2B: Unknown
SS: Goozie, once he signs the two year extension.
3B: Zim (Still just 23!)
LF: Unknown
CF: Milledge (23)
RF: Dukes (24)

I left out the bullpen, cause that's always a crap shoot, and the young guys are hard to project. (I'm lying, I'm too fucking lazy and I like all the guys so I didn't wanna play favorites since, you know, they read this blog and all.) That leaves us with an average age of 24/25 in 2009/10. It's gonna be good, folks. I suggest you put a deposit down for season tickets now.

Awesome dude of the day to Balester (of course), but with a slight tip of my braided hair to Belly (Grand Salamai), and my goatee to mi hermano (striking out Hermida with a SICK slider in the bottom of the 8th with the tying run on 2nd). Enjoy, Collin.

(Did I write enough? Jesus, I thought Tolstoy was a long read. He ain't got shit on me, that dead pacifist bastard)