Uh oh for Utley

So, you know how Chase Utley has these knee issues? You know how it's kinda progressed from "Chase will take a day or two more off" to "oh shit!" mode in Philly now? Well, I kind of feel like I had a hand in it. Well, not me, exactly, and not a hand. You see, when I told my little hamster Zimmy that Chase had a tendinitis flare-up in late February, I saw him put his two little paws together, and heard him ask this of whatever higher being there may be:


At that time, the jury was out on the seriousness of the injury. As the days dragged on, the press was saying, "cortisone shot" and "see how he responds" and "a little more rest." When I went to feed Zimmy his itty bitty dinner a few days after he sent his little request skyward, he asked me:



After telling him to get the fuck out of my coffee mug (I drink from there, dammit), I told him the extent of the injury was still unknown, but that things hadn't improved. He got a little smile on his furry face and said, "Good. Good." I didn't want the poor guy to get his hopes up, and reminded him how greasy, and smarmy, and dirty Utley was, and that he probably still has some pull left with Satan after he took out JESUS in that dirty play at home plate. His knee might find a way to heal. He scrunched his face up and started pouting all Cole Hamels like and just mumbled to himself while kicking tiny dust balls with his tiny feet.
So, imagine my surprise when I went to deliver his teeny weeny copy of The Hamster Quarterly a day later, only to find him all:



I asked him why he was so happy, and he informed me that there was now talk in the press that Utley would open the season on the DL. I mean, little Zimmy was just beaming from cute little ear to cute little ear. He looked like Chase Utley's wife when Chase leaves for a road trip. Just giddy. So, kudos to the little guy for hexing Chase Utley. The very same Chase Utley that got us Nats fans to do something we never did before, and never did again... Give Lastings Milledge a standing ovation.
Remember that cool September night one game after Chase destroyed JESUS' leg in that cheap shot? The same game wear Odalis Perez plunked Chase in his first at bat? Well, fast forward to the 5th inning. Men on the corners with one out, and Elijah Dukes' strides to the plate. He hits a ground ball to third, and the third basement throws to second to start a double play. Only the second baseman couldn't turn the double play. That second baseman? Chase Utley. Why couldn't he turn the double play, and in failing to do so, allowed the tying run to score? I like to think it was because of this sweet-ass take out slide by Milledge.

Yes, sirree. Allow me to plagiarize from my original post and sum this play up.

My apologies to all wrestling fans I may offend with this statement, but that was some SWEET SHIN MUSIC by Blastings. Hey, Chase Utley: Have a seat, lunch meat. To top it all off, I got goosebumps as the Washington fans gave Mills a standing fucking ovation as he walked back to the dugout. Who says Nats fans don't "know" baseball? Who ever it was, fuck them in the ear.

Now, as I said before, I would like to think that Utley didn't get that throw off because he was taken out by Milledge. But, in all honestly, it was probably because Utley was thinking about how many ducklings he could strangle in one hand later that evening. Or how he was soooo excited about the baby seal shipment that was due to arrive at his house later that week, as the clubbing chamber he built in his basement hadn't seen much use lately. Or could he have been distracted by that toddler that was sitting right behind the home dugout - directly in his field of vision as he looked towards first - and felt the urge to punch said toddler, and steal his Dippin' Dots? One will never know.
What one does know, however, is that: 1) Chase Utley has more evil in his little toe than Hitler, Stalin, and Mussolini had in their entire bodies combined, and 2) Milledge is now in camp for the fourth MLB team willing to give him a shot at the roster. Which proves that the Utley is the harbinger of the Apocalypse, and that Lastings Milledge's motto should be: "No one makes bad look so damn good."

Pimping some new shirts.

Sorry for the pimp post, folks. (I'm not really sorry. Sorry for lying about being sorry, though. (Yes, that sorry was real.)) With the start of spring training and all, my shirt juices started flowing, and I turned out two new shirts in four days. The first is a shirt that I always wanted to do, but never had a healthy J-Flo to allow me to do it. Now that he has risen from the dead, however, I'm proud to introduce my homage to Jesus Flores.



Flores has always been one of my favorites, and I still have a bounty out on Chase Utley for his blatant attack on poor Joey Flowers. So, here's to a healthy 2011 for Jesus, and for him to start smiting some mother fuckers. He's got some time to make up for . (Shirt also available for the ladies, of course, and that one says, "Real women love JESUS.")
So... do me a favor, and buy the damn thing. (God forbid someone cashes in on the Utley bounty, as I'm a broke dood.)

The next shirt was one that I've been trying to do for two years. You see, my wife's favorite player became Roger Bernadina last year. "Make me a Bernie shirt," she'd say. (At least I think that's what she said. I'm about as good at listening to her as Dibble was to listening to Bobby Carpenter.) I made a lame attempt last year, but I really wasn't a fan of it. I uploaded it just long enough to order one, and pulled it. I keep trying to tell the wife that it's a GODDAMN LIMITED EDITION collectible, but I really wanted to make one she'd like. Now, I don't like to brag, but....




BAM. I'm really happy with how this shirt came out. So buy three, dammit. (Hey, if I'm gonna get fired for using some company time to make these things, I'm gonna need some of you to pony up some dough.) And for those of you that didn't know Roger's nickname was "The Shark" a good write up about it is here.
So, there you have it. Two new shirts. Buy them. Or I cry. Sniff.

The complete shirt store is here. As always, if you have an idea for a shirt, or want me to use my lame skills for a Nats player you like, shoot me an email. It's on the top right of the page. Or don't. It's cool. I got friends, you know. I don't need validation of my blogs' existence. Sniffle, sniffle. Man... who's cutting all the damn onions around here?

Oh, the Places You'll Go!

Congratulations!

Today is your day.

You're off to Great Places!

You're off and away!

Except... you aren't. No, you're not the object of Dr. Seuss' wildly cliched popular book given at the beginning of life after ending your education. Nope, you're Drew Storen and the book you're given after your first Spring Training is titled, "Oh, the Places Drew'll Go Back To Needlessly Before the Places You Should Go!"

Look, the stats are there, and this quote is there.

"I've said it the whole time: We're going to play the best 25 guys that give us the best chance to win," Rizzo said.

Yet Drew isn't there. Where is there? In Major League camp and on his way North with the club outta spring training. Others have touched on the subject, and I fear that if I start down the road of justifying Drew's spot in the bullpen any more, I'll end up storming down Half St. with a flaming pitch fork, war paint, and screaming, "Off with Rizzo's fucking head!" So I'll leave it at this: My hunch is Drew is going to have to baby sit Stras through AA and AAA. Drew has already been in the Minors, and can help Stras in his tour down there. Is it fair? Fuck and no. Is it reality? Fuck and yes.
So, Drew, your first stop on the Places You'll Go? Hagerstown, MD, home of the Hagerstown Suns. Hagerstown is also the home of... nothing else. (Click pictures to enlarge.)

Yes, Drew, I hope you had fun in BFE, and hopefully you won't have to return.

The next stops on the Drew Express? Click "Read more" to see.

Jesus. Is. Dead.

I'm not making that shit up. See... it says so right here:

[Jesus] Flores has a torn labrum, tests revealed this week, and will undergo surgery tomorrow in Birmingham, Ala., to repair it. <....> [The Injury] threatens the Nationals catcher's availability for the start of the 2010 season.

Oh. Okay, so it doesn't say he died, per se... (I'm not sure I used that Latin phrase correctly. I confuse it with "persona non grata" all the time. People use it around me a lot, so it really muddles my Latin.)

Where was I? Oh, yeah... Jesus is dead and buried, and not waking up, nor moving the boulder out the way this time. And so, it is with a heavy heart that I put Jesus out of my thoughts forever. The only way to do so properly, however, is to give the man a decent burial. Farewell, my friend. While you were productive when healthy, you were never healthy. May your bones and muscles rest now, and be no longer tearing or breaking. Though it will be hard, we turn our gaze towards a new shining figure. One clad in battle armor, same as you, yet more... non-breaky. So, as we say goodbye, we also say hello. Welcome, DeNo. Now hurry your ass up. We need you by 2011, dammit.

Ashes to ashes... dust to.... ahh screw it. Just get in the ground, Flores.





Bonus for the folks still reading (you lucky sum bitches!). If you aren't following my Tweets, you missed out on ones like these from last night:

Rumors of a Flores labrum tear floating around...about 17 hours ago from Twittelator

Zuckerman confirms it. Jesus Flores labrum tear. 2010 opening day in jeopardy. Rizzo says it's not related to orig inj. http://bit.ly/QTgPpabout 17 hours ago from TweetDeck

I can't believe I didn't break Flores' hand when I shook it the few times I did. That guy goes down more than a hooker on pay day. #barbaro2 about 17 hours ago from TweetDeck

Oh, and this one from this morning. (Pony up, cheap skates!)

Ian's baseball-reference sponsorship price keeps dropping. Down from $95 to $45. Who has $45 for me? No one? C'mon, dammit!! ::pouting::about 4 hours ago from TweetDeck

See? I even try and break some news once in a while. I suck at it, but I try!

Jesus has returned to walk the earth.

It's not exactly the beginning of the fulfillment of the Messianic prophecy (I hope, at least. Cause I'm fucked if that does happen.), but it is a big development for the Nats.

Yes, Jesus "Barbaro" Flores made a pinch hit appearance in lasts night's game, but isn't expected to make any starts at catcher the rest of the year. He's welcomed back with open arms by me, to say the least. I just hope he's been drinking his milk while he's been gone, cause he's... well ... how can I put this... fragile as Kurt Cobain's emotions were in April of 1994. He only played in 26 games this year, before being sidelined by a foul ball to the shoulder. Last year, he played in just 90 games, due to Chase Utley smashing his ankle in early September.

It was great to see Jesus get an at-bat yesterday. I only wish he could've drawn a walk or hit a single. That way, he could try to steal second, and break both of Utley's legs, arms, lungs, eyes, ears, and kidneys (humans do have two of those, right? I hope so, cause if not, I'm screwed from that time I woke up in Mexico all groggy in a bathtub full of ice). God damn do I hate me some Chase Utley. That cheap shot taking mother fucker.

Oh, I saw Jesus before the game, and he showed me his new catching gear. I think it's nice, but I'm not sure how he's gonna be mobile enough to get to all of Mikey MacDougal's wild throws.


Welcome back, Jesus. Try not to break anything high-fiving in the dugout.

The man, the myth, the (possibly) machine... Mr. Derek Norris.

So what? Maybe he was sent from the future to destroy baseball as we know it. You know what, though? Fuck it. I'm gonna enjoy the ride.


Yes, my friends, it's our hero... Derek Norris. Look at how smiley he is! (And a real smiley, as opposed to that fake ass 49 year old from the Dominican Republic, Alvarez.)

It might be hard to believe, judging from his friendly mug up there, but Derek Norris is a FUCKING SOLDIER! Since being drafted by the Nats in the 4th round of the 07 draft, Derek (Who needs a nickname, btw. Let's see... how about Dino (like from the Flinstones), only it's spelled DeNo? Works for me.) started tearing shit up, and hasn't stopped since. It's really no wonder, as he was named the Kansas Baseball Player of the Year by some magazine in 2007.

There are some that say they witnessed DeNo's powers while he was attending Goddard High School. (Noted alumni - Logan Watkins and Travis Banwart. Wait... seriously? Who the fuck are they? Nice job, Wikipedia!) He would hit 800 foot home runs and throw out 13 runners from his knees often. He would also drink motor oil and lift the couch while he vacuumed under it. He spoke 17 languages fluently and always knew what color underwear Debbie Carruthers (the head cheerleader) was wearing. (He also knew what color underwear Cherry LaRue -the head slut- was wearing. Well... evey guy in school knew that, actually, so forget I mentioned it.)

His first stop devastating rival pitchers was for the GCL Nationals. There he went 2 for 4 with 2 doubles in his very first game. For 2008 the Nats sent him to the Vermont Lake Monsters of the short season New York Penn league. That's when people discovered this dude just might not be mortal. His line for 08? .278/.444/.463 10 HR and 38 RBI in 70 games. Oh, in those 70 games, he walked 63 times. The guy has the patience of my dog stalking a bird (which is a really long time, I swear!) and the eye of a sober guy (opposite Cristian Guzman, who has the eye of a drunk as shit dude on a Saturday night at the local watering hole. We all know that guy. In fact, I saw him hit on a guide dog once).

He collected all kinds of awards in 2008 including being named the Sept 4th NYP player of the week, a NYP League Mid-Season All-Star, a Baseball America Short Season All-Star, and the Topps Short Season/Rookie All-Star squad. He was also instructed to 'advance to Go and collect $200.'

This year, he's been balling up in Hagerstown, and doing one helluva job. He's hitting .317/.410/.583 with an OPS of .993, 18 HR and 60 RBI through 78 games. He's also thrown out 40% of base stealers in 07-09. He has already been named Sally League player of the week this year, made the Sally League All-Star game, and leads the team in (take a deep breath...) hits, doubles, HR, RBI, walks, BA, OBP, SLG, OPS, and total bases. All of that allows him to be first, in the entire fucking league, in HR, RBI, total bases, and second in OPS and hits.

And last but not least, he's 6 feet tall and weighs in at a slim, trim, buff, cut, ripped, chiseled, and jackkkkkkkkkkked 210 lbs, and is one damn fine handsome man (sayeth the ladies).



All of which, in the end, is a really, really good thing, since we're relying on Jesus Flores to be the catcher of the future. With the amount of time he's missed with injury last year and this, I'm fully expecting him to miss the entire 2010 year. (Guesses on the next injury, anyone? Holes in the hands and feet? Lacerated scalp? Some object piercing his side?)

Jesus Flores and Randy St. Claire out

Well, pitching coach Randy St. Claire got the boot today. Also, it turns out Jesus' arm actually did fall off.

I can't even begin to describe how down I am right now. Randy's out of the organization, and Jesus could be out for the year.

I'll leave the emotional expression to my neighbor, Ronald. I was out getting the mail, and ran into Ronald. He hadn't heard about Randy or Jesus, so I told him. Then I snapped this picture.



I'm actually so bummed right now, I don't want to talk about it. I'll post more tomorrow. Maybe. If I haven't sucked my exhaust pipe. Ugh.

Jesus Flores being Jesus leads to shoulder problems

Well, we were all set to have our starting catcher back for this past weekend's series against the Philthies. Jesus had been on the DL since May 9th, after catching a foul ball of his right shoulder. He had rehabbed down up in Harrisburg, and had played in 3 games there (one as a DH, but he caught the two others). He had two attempted steals against him, and he got one runner.

Apparently, something happend in one (or all?) of those games to make the Nats, and our starting catcher nervous. The call up to the club scheduled for the Friday was cancelled, and he had an MRI taken by the team doctor, Wiemi Douoghui. Well, it seems like the Nats are not willing to trust good ol' Dr. Douoghui, and are sending him to Birmingham, Alabama to see the person that no sports fan ever wants their players to see, Dr. James Andrews.

The Nats say they're just getting a second opinion (although we have no clue what the first opinion was) and they are going to shut Jesus down for the weekend, with throwing to resume some point after that. The Dr. Andrews visit is today, and there's no doubt what the visit will reveal. Jesus obviously takes his real job seriously (you know... saving all of mankind and what not), and devoted this past off season to going to leper colonies and healing them. Now his arm has fallen off due to all the contact with said lepers. Fan. Fucking. Tastic.

ZNN returns, and he brings his right hand man.

So sorry for the disappearing act I pulled last week. To be honest with you, I don't have as much fun writing about the losses as I do the wins. To be even more honest with you, I'm lazy as shit.

BUT IT'S A NEW DAY, PEOPLE!

ZNN pitched well enough to get the win yesterday, including striking out that Johnny Lannan wanna-be David Wright three times. Seriously, though..what's up with Wright trying to take a run at Johnny for the best eyebrows in the game?


Get your own fucking gimmick, David Wright Wrong (BURN!). (Also, to appreciate Johnny's eyebrows to the utmost, it is imperative you see this picture. Simply magnificent.)

Anywhoo, ZNN threw just over 100 pitches last night with 62 of them strikes. He threw four pitches, and was even changing speeds on his fastball. He did his job, limiting the Mets to one run on six hits while striking out five. He left the offense to his main man, JESUS!, however. The Venezuelan Messiah crucified the Mets going 3-4 with a two run HR, 3 RBI and 1 BB.

I managed to sneak into the clubhouse after the game, and found the two of them holding court in the corner. I snapped me a pic...


I must admit...I had a strong moral dilemma with the picture above. I mean...who do you choose to be God, and who gets the Jesus spot? I eventually gave Jesus the Jesus spot because, well, his name happens to be Jesus.

One last thing for you guys...I managed to find what has to be the worst headline since the Adam Dunn signing when everyone was using the "Dunn Deal" pun. Oh...Bill Ladson, you rapscallion you!

Nationals have a fifth catcher in camp?

Per Bill Ladson, the Nats have a new catcher in camp.

Tidbits on Nationals

When they start the regular season against the Marlins on April 6, the Nationals will carry four starters and seven relievers.............

(I clipped a whole bunch of the article out here. If you would like to read the whole thing, clickie here, at your own expense.)

..........Catcher Jose Flores, who hasn't played in an exhibition game since Feb. 28 because of a sore right elbow, will play against the Astros on Saturday.

Posted on March 25, 2009 at 2:57 PM

Now, here's a list of the catchers that the Nats brought to Major League camp. (Sorted by AB. If it was sorted by love, Wil would be numero uno. Actually, if I sorted it by OBP, Wil would be first, too! That guy rocks my socks.)


Okay..let's see... Herrera was reassigned on 3/10. Molina was reassigned on 3/16. Montz was optioned down on 3/19. That leaves Wil Nieves, Jesus Flores, Javier Valentin, and Josh Bard.

Who in the the hell is this Jose Flores? Beats the shit outta me. Maybe Bill knows...let's ask...

ME: "Hey, Bill. Who is this new catcher Jose Flores that's in camp for the Nats?"

BL:

What Jesus wants, Jesus gets.

While reading Chico Harlan's column about Jesus Flores, I came across this gem.

[Jesus] retold the story this week of his offseason request for new batting gloves. He wanted Nike to customize a model marked with his No. 3 and "J-Flo." The company responded that they did so only for all-stars, Flores said.

Screw you, Nike! Nobody puts Jesus in a corner. So, I took it upon myself to take care of my boy. Based upon this picture I stole came across on the internet (source here) below...


...I found Jesus' batting glove over at the Nike site, and designed one that I think fits him quite nicely. Behold...The Jesus Batting Glove of DOOOOOM!


Also reported...

Matt Chico threw in the bullpen this morning, just a light 30-pitch workout.

If that doesn't give you a nice tingling in your loins, you're dead to me. Long live our left coast lefty!

Utley left his feet

The post I wrote last night in a cold medicine induced rage? It's still dead-on right. After watching replay after replay, I'm still pissed. And here's why: Utley left his feet, launching himself at an unprotected player. I'm all for hard play (or "Old School", or whatever the fuck you wanna call it), and if he wanted to level Jesus he could have. But he should've done it in the right way. Drive your shoulder into him all you want, but don't leave your fucking feet.
Remember Pete Rose nailing Ray Fosse at the plate in the 1970 All-Star game? Brutal collision. Put Fosse out for good. You know what? Rose never left his feet.


You know who DID leave his feet? Chase Utley. UPDATE: I've added two more pics at people's requests. It's shows the end result of Utley's dive: Shoulder to Shoulder contact by a guy who has left his feet, versus an unprotected catcher. You can also see plenty of plate available to Utley. All he had to do was slide to the outside.


You motherfucker. I wish Manny was the kind of guy to retaliate, but he ain't. Maybe DOOKS! can slide hard into the bag to break up a double play? For the full video recap of the Ronnie Lott wannabe vs. Jesus, click here, and then click on the "Flores is hurt" video on the bottom. The bounties? They're still on, peeps. Do your thing.

Chase dick-face Utley

I'm gonna be brief, cause I got me a bad cold, and a lot of work tomorrow, but I will say this:

$500 to anyone in the NL that can take Chase Fuckley out. Bean him, spike him, hit him with a thrown ball on the basepaths, hit him with a line drive.

$750 to anyone not playing MLB that can take Chase Fuckley out. Hit him with your face, you foot, your car. Don't matter to me, just send me a picture of that douche bag laid out.

That is all.

JESUS + Lannans = God + Moses?

My religion skills are rusty, so someone let me know if that post title makes no sense. That being said, last night was good. NAY, last night was grand! The Doctor got to see the new Park (you like?), and got to witness Johnny Lannans being rewarded. Finally. That JESUS! pinch hit homer was like the hooker having a pretty face, icing on the cake. Unless the hooker has herpes. Then there would be some analogy about making a trip to the clinic, and all the Nats on the DL. Car pooling is available, if anyone else on the squad wants to get hurt.
Okay, on to other things, cause they're killing me.
Hey, did you know the All-Star Game/festivities are next week? And at Yankee Stadium? Well, if you're on the MLB mailing list like I am, you sure do. Note to MLB: I fucking get it. Please cease and desist any further communications you had planned to send. Please. Pretty please, with TEH GOOZ on top. Stop.
I know it's not Nats related, but God dammit, I have a huge soft spot for Josh Hamilton in my heart. That kid can't get enough praise for overcoming his demons. (While we're on that subject, props to LoDu for not being photographed with any 21 year olds in Georgetown, or Old Town. WTG, dude.) Anyway, Josh hit his first walk-off home run last night. Off Francisco Rodriguez (also known as K-Rod, but who I refuse to call K-Rod, cause THERE'S NO FUCKING K IN HIS NAME!) no less. I used to know how to direct link to the exact play, but MLB dicked around with their game wraps. You'll have to find it yourself on the bottom here. It's well worth a watch, and I ain't afraid to admit it got a little dusty around here when I watched it for the first time.

Oh, and when did Texas sign Carrot Top?


Also, Crocs? Really, Texas? What, PoppedCollars.com didn't offer enough cash to be on your outfield wall?

Washington wins another walk-off

The hero of last nights game? Not Jesus (I love you, dude, but you were 0-4 with 3 K's before your walk-off single), but Elijah mother f'ing DOOKS! He had a huge, huge game last night. 2-3 with 2 BB's and a laser beam to home to get Garreett Anderson. While watching this clip, please take note of Bob Carpenter's mouth getting ahead of the play, again. Seriously, Bob, just call what you can see. Shit ain't that hard.

Also of note: Luis going with the Jacoby Ellsbury look.
Very interesting. I know Colome likes it warm (he was wearing a freaking hoody the whole game last night. It was 85 degrees at first pitch!) but apparently Luis does too.

Enjoy the off day, folks. Blowrioles come rolling in tomorrow night for a 3 game set. I'm already cringing thinking about listening to those awful accents and hearing them butcher the National Anthem. Ugh.

Oh, here you go, Dooksie!

It's an unbelievable racket

Non baseball post here, but I gotta vent.

Who the hell thought they could get away with charging a proof fee for wedding invitations? That has got to be the most infuriating thing I've ever run into.

"Would you like to see how it will actually read before you order it?"

"Um, I already know how it's going to read. I wrote the shit down for you."

"Yeah, but sometimes words are spelled wrong, or dates come out wrong."

"Why? I wrote the exact way it's supposed to read, and all my spelling and dates were correct."

"Well, I think you should order a proof to make sure what you submitted is what they print. Oh, and it will cost you $25.00"

What in THE fuck? Of course I'll order the proof, then. You think I want my wedding invitation to say..."Pleased joined us in the marrage of Garvin and Rebercar"? Who the fuck do they have doing this shit, LolCats? Jesus F. Christ. I seriously can't think of anything else that would be that easy of a money generator for a company. I gotta pay you fuckers 25 bones to make sure you transposed my type written invitation that I submitted to you correctly? Fuck. You.

Update:
A friend and I were just kicking this whole proof thing around, and we came up with some analogies of how this would work in everyday life. It really puts it in perspective.

Hey, we are going to change your tires but if you give us an extra 25$ we'll make sure we put all the lugs nuts back on otherwise it's a crap shoot.

or

I know what you brought in to be tattooed onto you. Now, for $25 I can show you exactly how it's going to look. Otherwise, it might say I hate RJ vs. I heart RJ

Going for the sweeeeeep

Tis true, shocked kitty! Going for the sweep today behind Capt. Redd. We may need another intervention from Jesus, the pride and joy of Nazareth Caupano, Venezuela. If anyone can do it, it's the savior.

This is it.

Rock bottom. That's where I think we are. Especially with the latest news about The Franchise (with all due respect to Shane Douglas). That's right folks. Zim is out a minimum of 4-6 weeks, and it could be for the year. I told my cat, Natty, the news last night after the game. His response is documented below.


He was commenting on not only the Zim injury news, but also the pathetic and inconsistent offense. He also wonders why no starter besides Lannan can seem to throw more than 5 innings. Why have the bullpen guys that were so reliable in the past seemed so brutally ineffective? (Natty kitty's looking at you Saul and Luis!) He also can't stand Hanrahan's inability to throw strikes. I dunno, ya know? To pitch in this level don't you kinda, sorta, have to be around the God damn plate!? When Colome is thought of as being one of the better success stories outta the pen, you know your fucked. Props to Rauch, however. He's been all right filling in for Cordero.
Will it get any better? Shit, how long till Guzman goes to the DL? The injuries, offensive ineptitude, and pitching woes are driving me to tie a plastic bag around my head. The only things keeping me from self inflicted death at this point are Flores, Dukes, Milledge, Guzman, and Lannan. Four 23 year olds and a 29 year old that is by far our best player this year. Will he get re-signed? It'll be interesting to see. I'm also peeking into the farm system, and we will get some more looks at younger starting pitching as the season stretches into September.
How can I sum it all up?
Fuck. Me. Let me know when this team can do anything consistently, besides sucking. I still love everyone that puts on the uniform and goes out there to play. I'll still watch every game that I can, and I'll be at the park another 14 times at a minimum. I just can't have any hope of the offense coming from behind, nor the pitching staff keeping the other team from scoring early.

Jesus is better than JESUS!

Shawn Estes had the audacity to try and slip a fastball past JESUS! with the bases loaded. Yeah, you can guess what happened next.



Yard work by the big fella! He was quoted as saying:

That's a great feeling right there," Flores said. "He gave me a favor, giving me that fastball."

Our ever humble catcher. You know Estes threw the best pitch of his life. Now, come over here lil' buddy! I'm gonna give YOU a favor. Enjoy, sir:


Can't forget Mi Hermano, though. Sanches came in and got in a whole lotta trouble (shocker). Manny handed the ball to Luis, and he ran off 1 2/3 IP with 0 runs. Muchos Goodos, Luis! The Wookie got the save with a 1-2-3 9th.

Going for the series win today at 3:35 EDT. Johhny Lannans time = Go time!

BLARGH!

Oh, wait. We don't. I may not be cut out for this whole rebuilding thingie. I need to see some success and development from more than just Jesus. (JESUS!) Dooks had a lil' better game yesterday, but he's still looks incompetent at the dish. Millidge is really shaping up to be a terrible defensive center fielder. WMP? BAH!