Wily Mo's a SOLDIER?

So, it turns out Wily Mo's shoulder injury has been, um, serious. And not just this year. He may have actually injured it 3 1/2 years ago. He kept playing because, that's what he does. Unlike Kellen Winslow II (Miss 14 games due to a broken fibula? Pussy. Miss a whole year because of a torn ACL? You whiny bitch.) , WMP is a real soldier!
You see, when the Doc (not to be confused with sometime commenter the Doctor) opened up WMP's shoulder during surgery (performed without anesthesia, btw. Take that, Dalton. WMP staples himself all the time.), he was "stunned that Pena had been playing." Our GM, (Love him? Hate him? Discuss..) when asked about Wily's heroics, said,

"The doctors do not understand how he could have swung a baseball bat. They have absolutely no idea. . . . The doctors were absolutely amazed that he was on the field."

That's cause he oozes machismo, bra! Shoulder all fucked up? Fuck it, Wily's got a job to do. And that job is to strike-out hit moon shots. Someday. Next year. Maybe.

I'm beginning to see a pattern here

Hey, kids! Let me know if this sound familiar:

Nats OF Wily Mo Pena had successful surgery performed in Cincinnati this morning by Dr. Tim Kremchek. The Nats are saying that Pena will be out four to six months; he'll be ready for spring training. According to the release, Kremchek repaired a "significant" tear of Pena's rotator cuff, as well as the tear and fraying of his posterior labrum. (props to Chico.)

Now, I know dudes get injured playing this sport, but what THE fuck? First, we didn't even know WMP was injured, we just thought he sucked. Really bad. Then, he's got a shoulder issue. A minor one. Here's a little timeline showing the progression of Wily's "issue".To paraphrase Manny(7/11):

He's been battling a nagging left shoulder issue for a little bit. There's a chance he might have some tests done during the All-Star break.

Well, the MRI revealed a little bit of an injury, and they prescribed some rest, and he'll be back to hitting straight ball very far(7/14). So, he gets placed on the DL, and then the front office blows my fucking mind with the season ending surgery news above(7/22).
Now, all over the chat boards, the latest from the drooling masses is "Good riddance! Cut him! See you later, WMP! You Suck! Can we please cut bait on this guy?!"
Ignorant dick faces. Every single one of them. I may have been guilty in the past of calling him names (What was it..Weapons of Mass Penis eating?), and comparing him to Pedro Cerrano, but I never once called for his head. There's a $5MM option the team can pick up on him next year. I recommend they don't pick that up, but that's not because I don't want him on next year's squad. He has a player option of $2MM he can pick up that will put him on the roster next year (That is assuming no one offers him more than $2MM/yr...which no one from this planet will.), and I welcome him back with open arms. Why? Well, I do need someone to pick on, sure, but look at this stat... the number of at bats between home runs:

2002: 18
2003: 33
2004: 13
2005: 16
2006: 25
2007: 22
2008: 97

Which one of those numbers stick out like Austin Kearns at the Willie Harris family reunion? Exactly. This year's stats are outside his lifetime norm. He was taking an anti-inflammatory all year, and even took a cortisone shot, so that shoulder had to be fucking with him. Don't forget that dude will still only be 26 next year, either!

Okay, let's look to better things. We get Zim back tonight, and Milledge started rehab yesterday (hit a home run in his GCL appearance), so we're getting closer to some of the regulars getting back. I could enjoy an outfield of Harris/Milledge/Kearns for awhile. Now, let's go kick some ass, shall we?

Might want to set your DVRs, folks.

Paul LoDuca is starting in left field tonight.

Holy. Shit.

Get your popcorn, and grab a comfy seat.

(Small note of glee: Flop not starting tonight.)

Update(s):

Hey, lookie there. 1 out in the inning, and 1 error by LoDu!

Whoopsie, error on Meat. Shocker, I know! His range is usually man-tastic.

4-0 Angels, 1 out in the 1st. Anyone still have the game on?

Hey, did you know you don't even have to be involved in a play to get injured? Yup, if you're a member of the Nationals, a mysterious illness will hit you in the middle of someone's at bat while you're playing left field! LoDuca's line: 2 IP 1 E. WMP comes in, and hopefully doesn't get hit by the same gamma rays as Paul.

Jesus, Vlad Guerrero just left the game with "flu like symptoms." It's happened. The Russians North Koreans have exploded a rocket above D.C. releasing poison gasses. AHHHH!

8-0 Angels after 2 1/2 innings. Fuck this, I'm playing some Guitar Hero.

I lied, I'm a sucker for these Nats bastards. WMP just hit a home run that cleared the home bullpen in .79 seconds. 8-1, baby!

Flop just pinch hit for Shawn Hill. Great to see he hasn't lost it as he promptly ground into a double play. Upside? He can no longer appear in this ballgame. Downside? He haunts my every night with his horrors.

Steven Shell in for Hill in the top of the 4th. Did I mention I saw his MLB debut on Sunday? What? I didn't? Hmm...I wonder what I was doing this weekend that I couldn't write up any of the Rangers games? Ask my liver. Please.

I went to Maggie Moos and got me some money Twizzler flavored ice cream. I highly recommend it. What I miss? Apparently Dukes hit himself a tater. Good for him. Kory Casto had a pinch hit RBI single as well. 8-3 bad guys 2 outs bottom of the 5th.

Game over, 8-3. In some breaking news, Shawn Hill is heading to the Mayo Clinic tomorrow, and may make a trip to the DL. Why Not? Shit, let's go for the largest percentage of a roster to ever go on the DL. At least Mock or Clippard will get a good look in his spot.

BLARGH!

Oh, wait. We don't. I may not be cut out for this whole rebuilding thingie. I need to see some success and development from more than just Jesus. (JESUS!) Dooks had a lil' better game yesterday, but he's still looks incompetent at the dish. Millidge is really shaping up to be a terrible defensive center fielder. WMP? BAH!

Going to the game

Me and the Mrs. have tickets for tonight, so if you're watching on the tube, keep a look out for us. I'm bummed that I won't be able to rain down upon the Kinger with my barrage of peanuts, but good riddence.
Oh, hey, the newest Nat just arrived in town, by the way. He'll prolly be starting in left, but with his ears, he could play right, and no one would notice it's not Kearnsie.




Hell. Let's not kid ourselves here. He would prolly out hit WMP and Kearnsie combined.

Rental Perez vs. Ryan Dumpster tonight. (Buuuurrrn. dUmpster. Heh. Bet that fuckers never heard that one before) Dumpster's had a pretty good start, but one stat is bad. 11 BB in 24 IP. Slick and Kearnsie might be able to drive his pitch count up. Hell, maybe Goozie can work it too, and Flop will only go yard on the 4th or later pitch of each of his at bats.

Hopefully Blastings can get his fucking act together, and get to the fucking field sometime before I do. I called all the Rocawear and Phat Pimp stores in the area, and asked them to kindly send Blastings to the park if he showed up.

Arm? What arm?

Calling Milledge a noodle arm would be an insult to LoDu. Milledge's new moniker?

Penis arm. Limp penis arm. Fuck face.

Rental Perez against "don't taze me Bro" today.

Ya, WMP got an RBI yesterday, but he still looks like absolute shit. Here's and idea: Call up Maxwell, put him in center and move penis arm to left. Drop WMP to Columbus for a week or so until he starts hitting.

Fuck Bowden, sign me up for GM right now.

Winner winner. Chicken dinner.

WMP. Weapons of mass production? More like weapons of mass penis eating. Thanks for the 0 for 4 (3 K's), not to mention the error, chuckle head.
Chad, welcome back to you, as well. I'm sure Rauchie appreciated you loading them up, just to turn it over to him. Good thing he came in and slammed the door on them Injins.
Off day today for our band of swashbuckling heroes. Start a 3 game NY trip tomorrow. I'm looking forward to LoDu and Blastings giving the Mets fans a big healthy serving of shut the fuck up.
Oh, shit. Almost forgot. GOOZ!! Way to get that first walk of the season. Only took you 14 games. At least you're starting to think like a lead off hitter now, you fuck nut.

So, injuries start early, eh?

Well, fuck us. Dukes' hammy is worse than originally thought. He was removed from last nights game because of tightness, and was put on the 15 day DL today. I'm not sure if there's any truth to the rumor that he threatened his hamstring in the clubhouse with a gun. Some reported hearing him say, "Listen, Hammy, you better straighten the fuck up, or you dead, dawg!"
Chad "The Human Coronary" Cordero is day to day with shoulder tendinitis. I call bullshit. I saw him throwing to Luis Ayala in the bullpen Saturday night, and he looked fine to me. Ok, so he was throwing a bundled up t-shirt, not a baseball. And it was from five feet away. Fuck that shit, though. So, Rauchie looks to be the closer in the mean time. Works for me.
Btw, Ayala blew me a kiss that night. I'm not sure if I should be flattered or scared.
So, we're stuck with Harris and Macoviwackiwack in LF. Shit on a stick. My only hope is that WMP comes of the DL early. But, who am I kidding? These are the Gnats.