Die, Charlie.

Ugh. I have a new enemy, and thy name is Charlie. 4 runs in 4 IP? Nice! 2 HR to 2 lefties? Left handed specialist, my ass. Bring back Burger King!
In case you missed it, here's the link for Longerhand's incredibly incredible catch to rob a home run from one of those Padres. White man can jump.
Stat of the day: Johnny Lannans has the lowest run support of any starter in the National League. Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet.

Jesus is better than JESUS!

Shawn Estes had the audacity to try and slip a fastball past JESUS! with the bases loaded. Yeah, you can guess what happened next.



Yard work by the big fella! He was quoted as saying:

That's a great feeling right there," Flores said. "He gave me a favor, giving me that fastball."

Our ever humble catcher. You know Estes threw the best pitch of his life. Now, come over here lil' buddy! I'm gonna give YOU a favor. Enjoy, sir:


Can't forget Mi Hermano, though. Sanches came in and got in a whole lotta trouble (shocker). Manny handed the ball to Luis, and he ran off 1 2/3 IP with 0 runs. Muchos Goodos, Luis! The Wookie got the save with a 1-2-3 9th.

Going for the series win today at 3:35 EDT. Johhny Lannans time = Go time!

On to Estes...

Ya know, I've got a lot to write about, but not too much time to do it. Sorry about that, folks. I promise, I'll roll out a serious post here soon. (As a heads up for the article, though, it's about the shitty situation I think [you think? Way to go out on a limb] is developing in the outfield.)
So, some stuff happened last night, and the Nats lost. I'm not sure where to start (Umm..Shawn? You can't get away with five walks in one inning, pal. Charlie Manning? More like Eli Cooper Manning. Way to go, Hammer Hands. More like Homer (giver-upper) Hands.) so I won't. Instead, let's look to this evening:
Rental Perez against Shawn Estes. You may remember Shawn Estes from...well, if you remember him, you a genius! He's appeared in 4 games in 3 years. Sterling attendance record there, Shawn. The only thing you might actually remember the guy from was when he was sent to the hill by the Mets to plunk Roger Clemens in 2002. Now, Clemens ain't a skinny guy, by any means, but Estes managed to miss him with the pitch; It went behind Clemens by about two feet. Bad aim? More like bad gonads. More than one person was upset at Estes for not hitting Clemens, and more than one questioned his guts. I just can't find those references anywhere on these here intertubes. Was the Internet even around in 2002? That was like, decades ago, man.
So, bottom line, don't look for any retaliation tonight from Estes. Guys, feel free to plunk the entire Padres line up. Please.

Time to pound us some Padres

Well, enough of that Milwaukee madness, we're off to sunny San Diego! It'll be a nice 'n easy 3 game sweep. We got Hill (so they say, anyway) going tonight, with Rental Perez, and Johnny! Lannans! finishing out the series. They shouldn't have any issues shutting down them Pads 'cause, well, they suck. How bad is their offense? The Nats have a better team batting average than them. I swear! We may be 14th in the league, but they're 16th. Take that, San Diego!
Randy Wolf is the head enemy tonight. Fun Fact: When Wolf pitched in Philly, his fans were called the "wolf pack." Yes, it is a very ingenious name. Look, Philly ain't known for its intelligence. They put cheez-whiz on their cheese steaks, for Christ's sake. Second BONUS fun fact: Randy Wolf bought his current house from Slash (the guitarist, not the porn star. Although, there may be as much semen in that house regardless which one owned it). Boy, I gotta question the intelligence of someone who buys their freaking house from a rock star. Cocaine's a bitch to get out of the ventilation system. Unless, I dunno, he likes a little blow every now and then. Which works out well, cause he's got a small penis.*
The bad news? The game starts at 10 pm EDT. Zippie chance I make it through 3 innings. Doctor, you're my eyes tonight, sir. Now, let's roll off 3 in a row, my main men!


*may or may not be true.

BLARGH!

Oh, wait. We don't. I may not be cut out for this whole rebuilding thingie. I need to see some success and development from more than just Jesus. (JESUS!) Dooks had a lil' better game yesterday, but he's still looks incompetent at the dish. Millidge is really shaping up to be a terrible defensive center fielder. WMP? BAH!