Fucking Chico man.

Not you, Rob. I'm talking about the left coast lefty. Number 1 in my heart, number 47 in your programs. Matthew Bryan Chico. Asshole! You played with my feelings, man. That 1st inning was God-like. How do you follow that up? By allowing RBI singles to the 8 and 9 hitters! Fuck, man. The object of baseball is to score more runs than your opponent. Hard to do that when you put your team down four runs, dick.
And, Jesus. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. Nice passed ball in the 8th, buddy. You and Chico need to go stand in the corner. I know you're the shit. You know you're the shit. Now act like it, fuck face.
It's not all bad though, folks. Props to Slick the Stick, He who's name is too powerful to say. It looked like double day out there. Slick's yard work was nice. Jesus, your homerun karma was taken away by your butterfingers.
John Lannan tomorrow, peeps. A friend predicted 7 innings and 2 hits. He couldn't be more wrong. The real line? 9 innings zero hits. Team Lannan, go for launch!