Thursday, April 24, 2008

Ray King is good against lefties. Shit.

Burger King was doing well against lefties. Until last night. Of course, Zim didn't help with that two base throwing error (keep that up and Manny will send you to the bullpen), but I still blame King. He faced 5 lefthanders in a row, and retired 2. Here's what fucking kills me, though: Pagan (how does he get people to call him pah-gone? I say pay-gun.) singles to drive in Church. You're a left handed pitcher. Should be easier to hold someone at 1st, right? Wrong, wrong, fucking King Kong. He let's Pagan steal 2nd. Then King says to himself,
"Sheeeet. That little dude is speedy. Now, I'll just focus all my attention on Schneider here, with his wicked awesome hitting skills...


::Thinks about the new Steakhouse Burger at BK::

"whoa! That little dude stole 3rd. He's crafty, I'll give him that. OK, Brian, hit this one!"

::ground ball off King's glove to score Pagan::

So, bases empty, two outs, and the pitcher is coming up to hit. The pitcher. Someone who was in the AL for years. OBP of .256. What's King do? Grooves him one. Fuck stick!
It's on, Ray. The war has begun. I will come armed with a big bag of peanuts tomorrow night. I will unload those peanuts upon you with lightning quickness, and Nolan Ryan speed. You might want to bring a vest and helmet. ASSHOLE!


Puttzy said...

I just heard an interview on the radio with Ray King. All he kept saying was.

mmmmm freeeeee peeee-nuuuttts

King happy. King no haveta buy no suppa now

Rob said...

What a fat bastard. If you guys don't want him anymore, we'll take him. We only have 9 pitchers with an ERA over 5.00, including a 16.62and a 32.40. Plus, we have steakhouses all over the place.

Andrew Fox said...

And strip clubs.